Second Time Around
by spencershasting
Summary: "Since when does Spencer Hastings have to take her clothes off to get what she wants?" Spencer knew the game all too well. Guys only want one thing, right? It worked - until it didn't. Five years later, Spencer's a different woman juggling a job and single motherhood. Until she's trapped in an elevator with a past mistake who changed her life & their story is changed forever. Spoby
1. Chapter 1

_There are those who'll bet love comes but once, and yet __I'm oh, so glad we met the second time around_

* * *

Spencer felt accomplished. Like she'd finally made it. It was just yesterday that she'd dropped her bags on the empty apartment floor on the 4th floor of a high-rise in Western Philadelphia from, which was substantially closer to work, her best friends Hanna, Caleb and Aria. In fact, Hanna and Caleb lived in the building on the corner of her street. Aria was only about twenty minutes away, which was much better than the near two hour drive that separated them previously. (Emily decided to stay in Rosewood after all. Spencer was happy for her, but she couldn't go back there after all that had happened). She'd spent the last few years in an apartment the size of a shoebox in Allentown, and she and her son, Aaron, were outgrowing that space rather quickly.

The two of them were just getting settled in the new area, thankful to have Hanna and Caleb nearby. They'd gone to the grocery and were heading home to continue unpacking. With just the two of them, it would take a long time, but Aaron's biggest hobby was getting his hands in everything and helping his Mommy, and even if sometimes that took more time than if she'd just do it alone, the memories they always made were priceless. It took her a (long) three years alone with her son to realize he was all the family she needed. She didn't speak to her parents much after the series of blowouts and lies they'd had while she'd been growing up, followed swiftly by their attitude towards her pregnancy seeming more like a PR crisis strategy made to be more about them than anybody else. Melissa was off in London, and frankly, it was the best thing that could have happened to their relationship. Now they only chatted on Facebook occasionally while she liked all of the photos of Aaron Spencer posted, but an ocean between them had dimmed the fighting they were so notorious for. Nonetheless, Spencer was doing well - she hadn't touched the drugs or alcohol she'd used to cope with in high school since before she'd found out she was pregnant just a month into her college career. She was taking online classes trying to finish her degree slowly while working in a bakery. It all started as a way to make good money while she was pregnant and just getting on her feet, but it turned out the intricacies of piping icing into beautiful designs atop tall, fondant cakes and filling pastries was just the type of work she needed as a perfectionist, while still being much more calming than the lawyer job her parents would have had her take - and the job she thought she wanted until she realized there were limitless options outside of the house of Hastings.

"Mommy, I wanna walk." Aaron said struggling with the seatbelt on his stroller and raising his arms towards her, his lip puffing out like he was about to cry or throw a fit "Just one minute and we'll be upstairs," she put the grocery bags down on the floor of the elevator and pushed his hair back, pushing the "door close" button. The doors began to shut when someone stuck their hand in the doors and they re-opened as the stranger mumbled a sorry and pushed the 5th floor button, adjusting his headphones over his hat. He was also carrying large bags, seemingly full of equipment. Spencer sighed in an annoyed tone since her son was clearly getting antsy and she wanted to get upstairs before his whimpers turned into a full-blown tantrum. She looked up as the elevator doors closed after what seemed like forever, and her breath got caught in her throat when she caught a glimpse of the stranger's eyes, freezing her blood like the ice they resembled. She'd made it almost four years without stepping foot back in her hometown, and suddenly one of the biggest reminders was a few feet away.

She re-adjusted herself, crouching down next to Aaron and cooing at him trying to keep herself from looking back at the man who turned out not to be a stranger after all. She typically wasn't so good at hiding her shaken demeanor, but she was internally just hoping the elevator ride would go fast enough that he'd exit before realizing who she was, and moreover, who she was with.

All of a sudden, the elevator shook and seemed to bounce, and Aaron grabbed onto Spencer's shirt on impulse. "It's okay," she kissed his head and looked up, holding her knees as she stood when he'd let go. "Come onnnnnn," she groaned, hitting the floor buttons as well as the "door open" buttons continuously, hoping to get the elevator moving again. But this was it, they were stuck. Between the frozen elevator and her present company, Spencer couldn't help but let out a chuckle under her breath. The Heavens sure had a funny way with her luck.

The man looked over, pulling his headphones down so they rested around his neck, music still blasting from them to be faintly heard by Spencer and Aaron. "What's so funny?" He raised an eyebrow. He looked exactly the same, black hoodie and all. Spencer, on the other hand, had dyed her hair to a darker, near black hue and had stopped wearing her contacts after one too many eye infections after taking a baby finger to the eye one too many times. Unlike her, he hadn't quite put together the humor of the situation.

Suddenly, Spencer felt a debilitating nervous choking feeling in her throat - which was very un-Spencer of her, since she was usually the one to rattle other people's cages, being the fiercely protective and adamant young woman she was, and quite frankly, had always been, even as a child she had a biting sense of humor and a tendency to react quickly and passionately.

"I'm waiting," the man smiled a toothy smile. When she didn't answer, he shoved his hands in his pockets. "At least I'm stuck in here with a beautiful woman," he smiled the same crooked smile she remembered. "I'm Toby," he said, extending his hand.

* * *

_"Toby," he smiled at her as he blocked her path abruptly, beer spilling from the tops of the cups filling both of her hands. "And I'm going to assume one of those is for me," he smiled a crooked, mysterious smile and took an over-filled cup from her, taking a big sip so it wouldn't spill over the edge again. _

_"I know who you are," she smiled back, in a dangerous, flirty way, stepping closer to him. "I'm—" _

_"I know who you are, Spencer." he mimicked back. She laughed and bit her lip. She wasn't new to this game, she knew the rules. She took a big enough sip to do the same to her own cup. "I haven't seen you around here in a long time," she cocked her head to the side. "Why show up for the last party of the summer?"_

_"I've been…caught up." He found it hard to believe that she, Spencer Hastings, the girl who was such a brainiac that she probably knew history that hadn't even been written yet and thoughts you hadn't even thought yet, didn't know that he'd been at a correctional facility for the last year, and tonight was his first night back in Rosewood. "But I'm here now, and I think I need some catching up to do to make up for the rest of the summer, if you don't mind…" his hand made it's way to her waist. _

_She took another large sip of her drink, and another, and another as they kept spitting out one-word sentences and whispered secrets drenched in vodka and beer and steaming with the heat of their breathing in one another's ears. After a few more cups had been emptied, Spencer dropped her cup on the floor and replaced the alcohol on her tongue with Toby's. _

_She dragged him through the backyard to cut across to her own just behind, and it only took one more secret whisper before her dress was hiked up around her middle and his pants were around his ankles and the space between them disappeared. _

_They climbed back through the hedges back into the party with interlocked fingers, red cheeks, and giggles caught in the wind, but as soon as they entered the crowd of teenagers, they were separated and he seemed to disappear from the party altogether. _

_This wasn't Spencer's first time playing the game. She knew the rules._

* * *

"I know who you are," her lips twisted into a sick and sly smile, because if he hadn't put together the pieces yet, this clue would turn everything around and make him taste the sourness in her mouth that she felt in her own.

"Have we met?" He raised his eyebrows. He was starting to see a resemblance in her to someone he once knew, but he was hoping she wasn't who he thought she might be. There was no way she would be here in Philly, would there be?

Before she could jump at him with all the anger she was trying to hold back after everything, and at the same time all of the nothingness that had transpired between them, Aaron started to make grumbly noises again in frustration matching her own. She rocked the stroller. "Shhhh…" She tucked her hand behind her ears, giving him a better view of her profile and face, and his face went white because he knew exactly who she was.

"Oh…my God. Spencer?" His eyes scanned her up and down. "It's been, like…you look…wow."

"Spencer!" Aaron clapped from the stroller, his eyes lighting up and Spencer's fixation on Toby darted back to her son. He had been in a new phase where he thought it was funny to call her "Spencer" instead of "Momma" or "Mommy" after being particularly amused by an argument between Spencer and Caleb. She glared at the little boy who covered his mouth laughing. "That' s 'Mommy' to you buddy." she tickled him.

"Sorry Mommy" Aaron continued to giggle and kick his legs in amusement.

"Yeah…Toby, it has been a while." She turned back to him.

"Is that…" he trailed off… "But I thought…"

"Well you thought wrong." She cut him off defensively and coldly.

* * *

_Spencer was crying in the car, and even the rain pouring down the car windows couldn't trump the mass of tears dripping down her face and falling in puddles on her hands as she wiped her face, and later her neck as she gave up trying to stop the tears from flowing. _

_"Spencer you've got to calm down, none of this is helping. None of it. You're Spencer Hastings. You know that there's an answer to every problem. You just have to pick which answer you're going with." Hanna had stayed quiet comforting her friend for a while but couldn't take seeing her strongest, most ruthless friend as a slobbering mess like this._

_She sniffled and wiped her nose but didn't say anything. She was hearing what Hanna was saying, and acknowledge the truth she knew to be in her words, but it didn't mean she liked it. _

_"But what if I don't like any of the answers?" She finally managed to whimper._

_"Well then you have to be the Spencer Hastings I know and be innovative. I've never known you to take a hit without bouncing back like a damn superball."_

_Spencer couldn't help but laugh at the simile. _

_"Tell me again what exactly he said." Hanna rubbed her knee. _

_"It doesn't matter, he wants me to get rid of it. He says I've got too much potential to get stuck in this town and he's no father."_

_"And what did you say."_

_"I agreed with him, pretty much." She scrunched up her nose._

_"If you want, we can drive over to the clinic right now. Nobody has to know. I won't tell a soul. Not even Emily or Aria."_

_"That's the thing - I don't think that's actually what I want."_

_"Well you need to make a decision before you bring this back to him. He needs to be responsible for this - he doesn't get the benefits of your vodka-goggles without paying the consequences."_

_"Han—"_

_"I'm serious! If Caleb ever pulled this,"_

_"He wouldn't." She interrupted. "Because he loves you, and because he knows what it's like to feel like your parents don't want you," her voice lingered, because although their circumstances were largely different, and Spencer enjoyed many extravagances growing up that Caleb hadn't seen the half of, the feelings of neglect were strikingly similar._

_"I'm just saying, if you have a baby, Spencer — a BABY, you're going to need help."_

_"You know how I feel about working with others," she raised an eyebrow, jokingly._

_"Well at least you've got your sense of humor back," she rubbed Spencer's back. _

_"He was just so awful. He was yelling - like, _**_yelling _**_yelling, and was practically running away from me. He told me to do what I needed to do to make the situation go away, and he didn't care how."_

_"Do you want me to send Caleb after him?" Hanna offered. "Or we can all go beat the crap out of him. There's three of us, not counting you in your, uh…yeah. Well, you know. And only one of him."_

_"Look…just don't tell the girls about this yet." She took a deep breath. "But…I don't think I can do this…get rid of it, I mean."_

_"Well then I guess I'll start shopping for an "I love my Aunt Hanna" onesie."_

_Spencer pushed her a little. "I hate you."_

_"I love you too." Hanna kissed her friend's forehead and pulled her in, letting her collapse once more before going home and putting on the brave face she had to, as per usual._

_She called Toby, and after every ring she swore she'd hang up, but she didn't._

_"I'm not doing it." She spat out quickly._

_"The…what…can you elaborate?"_

_There was radio silence on the other end, but he swore he heard her crying._

_"I'm just not father-material, Spencer. And you're not a mother, you're a Hastings. Go to school. Let's just forget about this. We weren't meant for this. Not now, not ever. I absolutely cannot do this." His words came out harshly, but not nearly as harshly as they'd flung out at her when she'd told him she was pregnant in person. "If you mean you're not—"_

_She hung up before he could ever really know if she meant she wasn't terminating the pregnancy, wasn't having the baby, or wasn't going to keep the baby and be a mother, but rather give the baby up once it was born. He never bothered again, because he was too scared to know the answer._

* * *

"He's…big. Like a whole person…well, a little person…" Toby said stupidly, dumbfounded as he realized he was looking at his own flesh and blood. Toby was in almost all of his features. Aaron was a spitting image of his father…just…smaller. He suddenly felt even dumber for not realizing any of this sooner.

"I'm a bIG BOY," Aaron stood as much as his seatbelt allowed while yelling.

"Shhh," Spencer cooed. "That's right, he's my big boy helper, isn't that right?" She tousled Aaron's hair.

"I just moved in the building temporarily with my friend, Lucas."

"We just moved in, too…" She wanted to end this dreadful encounter. "How much longer do you think we'll be stuck?" They'd hit the intercom emergency button but it seemed like it wasn't working, or no one was at the receiving end of the call.

"I don't know," he sat down in the corner. "How has everything been with you and…"

"Aaron." She finished his sentence for him. "Good, busy." She sighed as she unbuckled the restless toddler who immediately clung to her leg. "Snack time, Mommy. You _promised_." He whined.

"Maybe we could catch up sometime," he mumbled. Her cold demeanor was throwing him off, she was being very short with him, although seemingly trying to be polite in front of her son. _Their_ son.

"Mmmm…I don't know. I don't know that there's much to say." She opened a bag of Teddy Grahams from the grocery bags and spilled a handful into a little container she'd pulled from her bag. Aaron happily munched away and Spencer sat on the opposite end of the elevator than Toby, letting Aaron plop down in her lap. He kept shoving Teddy Grahams in between her lips in an attempt to "share."

"Thank you baby," she laughed and properly put the cookie in her mouth to eat. He shot up off her lap and waddled over to Toby, extending a chubby little hand to him with two bears. "Share?"

"Thanks…" Toby took them. Spencer couldn't help but laugh and her cheeks turn pink, because her son was so polite and cute and fearless. "I didn't, like, realize…what…what I was missing."

"Teddies are so yummy but Mommy only lets me have them sometimes not all of the times," Aaron explained, assuming Toby was talking to him about the cookies. "She makes me eat carrots" he stuck out his tongue. Spencer continued to laugh at her son's cuteness.

"He's a piece of work, alright. Mommy's best friend, right, buddy?" She smiled, pulling Aaron back towards her lap and Aaron grabbed her face to give kisses.

Toby took off his jacket to reveal the logo of the local Sports Center on his shirt with a baseball, basketball and football. "MAMA LOOK…HE HAS BALLS…BIG BALLS." Aaron was obsessed with sports because Caleb always watched games with him and even let him play his Xbox sports games with him.

Spencer turned red and tried to hold in her laugh so her son wouldn't think she was laughing at him since he didn't know the perversion that could be construed from his words. Aaron jumped up again and started climbing up Toby to grab the logo on his shirt. "Did you ever play in the TV? Can we play pleaseeee with me and Mommy and Uncle Caleb and Auntie Han-Han?"

"Aaron get back here." She pulled him back again. "Sorry, he loves sports, and might be a little too friendly."

"We can play," he pulled out a small stress ball from his backpack and rolled it over to him.

Aaron picked it up and tossed it instead of rolling it, hitting Toby in the chest.

"Only throwing outside, babe." Spencer reminded Aaron, holding onto his little hips as he stood in front of her, pulling down his shirt and fixing him.

After a while of playing Aaron stopped rolling back the ball and held onto it like a stuffed animal and cuddled into his Mom's chest with his hand in her shirt, sucking his thumb with the hand that wasn't holding onto the ball.

"Come on," she looked up at the frozen number on the elevator. Aaron needed his nap.

"I'm sorry…" Toby didn't look at her.

"It's not your fault the elevator's stuck."

"No…I meant the big 'I'm Sorry…'"

Before she could answer the elevator started moving again. "Finally," she exhaled sharply and got up slowly to put Aaron in his stroller but he started to whine and clung closer to her chest, white-knuckling the neckline of her top.

"Let me help," he said grabbing the stroller and some bags as she pointed him towards the end of the hallway. "4H," she said, pulling the key out of her front pocket while balancing her son against her hip.

"Thanks," She said in the doorway as she readjusted Aaron in her arms.

"Do you need any help unpacking?" He scanned the apartment, full of boxes except a few unpacked in the kitchen, and a couch and TV in the otherwise barren living room.

"I'm okay," she said putting Aaron down on the couch. "This won't take me long, I just need to put together my dresser and Aaron's big boy bed, but Caleb wi—"

"Let me help," he said wuickly, and Spencer immediately made a face.

"I don't think so."

"Come on, I owe you."

She sighed, she did feel bad about how much she utilized - and often monopolized - Caleb's free time. He was the closest thing Aaron had to a Daddy figure up until this point.

"I won't take no for an answer." He stepped further into the doorway and she stepped forward, almost as if to barricade off the door so he wouldn't come in further.

"Fine. Saturday morning, 7:45." She shut the door in his face before he could say another word.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm going to kill you," Spencer said into the phone, very obviously talking with a mouth full of food. She was sitting on her couch spooning Nutella right out of the jar.

"Marble mouth much?" Hanna laughed into the phone, partially at her friend and partially at Caleb who wouldn't stop touching her waist tickling her because it was after 11 and he wanted to go to bed but refused to do so without Hanna.

"Nutella bingeing, but this is your fault." She swallowed.

"I told you you can have Caleb this weekend to help you unpack, but I need him here to help me with Tibster for the week, she got here this morning and has pretty much destroyed everything in plain sight." Hanna laughed. Tibster, or more formally Tabitha, was Hanna's half-sister who was born just under a year before Aaron. Hanna and Caleb watched her a lot ever since Ashley's husband Ted moved to New York for the year doing a round teaching at Seminary. It was a great opportunity for him and was income that the family needed, but it was hard when Ashley was at the bank so often to juggle a preschooler. Thankfully, he visited most weekends.

"What? No, I don't need help." She said sarcastically and loudly. "I've got Toby Cavanaugh coming over on Saturday." She said the last bit bitingly, mad that her best friend, who so loudly begged for her to move to her neighborhood and even wrote her pro and con lists (pros: their proximity, Aaron and Tabitha's playdates (They were the cutest and Ashley, Ted, Hanna, Caleb and Spencer were all convinced they'd go on to get married). cons: none), had neglected to tell her who else was in the neighborhood.

"WHAT?!" Hanna spit her water everywhere, and Caleb shot up, shaking off his shirt. "Damn it, Spencer!" He yelled in the background, laughing, covered in Hanna's spit-water.

"Mhm," Spencer raised an eyebrow, stuffing her face with another spoonful of Nutella, scraping at the side of the container.

"You mean the one who—"

"The one who knocked me up at your end-of-summer-pre-college-blowout? Yeah, that's the one."

"It was _at_ the party?! You never told me—not important. What the Hell are you doing with him again?"

"At, behind, same difference." She exhaled loudly. "You really don't know? He lives in this building. Like literally upstairs from me."

"Nooooo…." Hanna gasped. "What are the chances? You're kidding."

"Probably the same chances that I'd get pregnant at 18." She reasoned.

"Ha-ha, very funny." Hanna hated and loved Spencer for her guarded sarcasm.

"He thought I had an abortion." She sucked on the spoon audibly. "The worst part is Aaron met him, and wanted to play with him. And I had to be nice, because I have to set an example or whatever. God, I hate being a responsible parent."

"But you have the sweetest little boy for it," Hanna cooed. "How's my little man?" Hanna was Aaron's godmother and a pretty rockin' one at that. She was there for every milestone. "Does he know?"

"That Toby's his father? Hell no. I don't think he even realizes he has a dad at all. We've always been fine just us."

"I know that." Hanna didn't mention it often, because Spencer would always roll her eyes and ask what choice she had in the matter, but she marveled at Spencer's strength, courage, and parenting skills. She had never been a particularly patient, or even particularly friendly person but she was a great Mom who made sure Aaron was always smiling and spent every minute she could with that little boy. "Do you still want Caleb to come over on Saturday?"

"I'll call you if I need you. I think I can handle it. But I might ask you to take Aaron. I don't know if I want him here with Toby again. The less contact they have, the better."

"I can bring him to my Mom and Ted's when I drop off Tabitha. She misses him and it's only been like a week."

"They're soulmates," she laughed. "I have to go to bed, I have to be up at 6 and Aaron fell asleep really early tonight so he might be waking me up at 5."

"Ew. Anytime before 8:30 is off-limits for me. You're a rockstar."

"All part of Mom-ing," she laughed, feeling a little better now than when the conversation started.

"I love you, Spence." Caleb's ears perked up "If you guys make-out can you at least take a picture?"

"GOODNIGHT CALEB." Spencer laughed. "I love you to, Han. And you too, Caleb. Night." She hung up, feeling grateful that she did have these friends so close by.

* * *

Spencer's co-worker called out sick, and since it was a small bakery there were limited options, and she had to work a double-shift. She called Hanna pleadingly, but when she didn't pick up, she had to call Caleb to get Aaron from day-care at the Church and bring him back to their apartment, promising to try and pick him up before dinner.

She got out later than she expected and made a mad rush to Hanna and Caleb's, only to see the couple fighting over the last brownie and two sleeping kids amongst a pile of toys in front of the TV.

"Sorry," she sat down at the table, defeated by her long day. She'd predicted correctly that Aaron would wake her up early, and then she'd worked a double - AKA she was over-exhausted.

"They've been asleep for a while, you don't have to rush home with him. Stay, relax. You look like you need a glass of wine," Hanna proposed, cracking open a bottle of Riesling on her countertop and pouring two glasses.

"I need _sleep," _ Spencer laughed, taking a glass from Hanna. Her eyes were barely open, and the wine only further turned her eyes into slits.

"Crash here tonight? The kids can have a slumber party, why can't we? We haven't done this in forever."

Spencer nodded in agreement, forcing herself awake to watch a movie that wasn't animated with Caleb and Hanna, all falling asleep on each other on the couch. She'd almost forgotten the morning she would be having the following day.

* * *

"I'm sorry the plans have to get all shifted, but I'll try to come back from Rosewood as soon as I can. See if you can stall a few hours." Hanna said while bouncing the little girl on her hip who was nuzzled into her neck. She'd woken up early throwing up, and was sleepy with a fever. Hanna had totally freaked out, but thankfully Spencer was there and knew this well.

"It's cool, it's more important to get this little munchkin feeling better so Aaron and I can finally take her to the zoo like we promised." Spencer said inching a little closer to the little girls face and squeezed at her side to tickle her lightly, getting a small smile from the sick little girl.

"Maybe we can steal a peacock or maybe just the feathers," Tabitha proposed, giddily.

Spencer out-loud laughed harder than she had in a while. "Maybe we can just pet one and take a picture." She laughed. Aaron was sitting on the floor half-asleep wheeling a truck over his Mom's feet.

"Call me later?" Hanna said as she watched Spencer scoop up her son and sling her bag over her shoulder.

"Will do," she kissed Hanna on the cheek, Tabitha on the head and waved at a practically comatose Caleb sprawled across the couch before ducking out.

* * *

What Spencer hadn't yet noticed until this early hour was that the lights in her new hallway were motion-censored. It was kind of creepy, she thought, that the lights lit up one by one as she got further and further down the hallway, Aaron holding her hand but his little, tired feet making him drag back a bit behind her only to be pulled alongside her since he was so small.

The lights actually probably not so creepy when there wasn't a man standing at the end like in some sort of horror movie. It was only then she realized how unprepared she was for the awkwardness today was going to be.

Toby looked up, seeing them trot down the hallway, Aaron seemingly running to keep up with Spencer's steps. When the lights came on and better lit Aaron's face, Toby immediately got the chills. The kid looked so much like him. Practically identical to his baby photos, actually, only he had been blond as a child and Aaron had Spencer's naturally dark brown locks. _There's no doubt he's my kid. Shit, I'm a dad and I didn't even…That's my kid. Whaaaaaaat. _Toby felt almost lightheaded the closer they got. The other day he had felt this insane urge to get to know his son, to reconcile with Spencer, but today, all he wanted to do was to run out of there.

* * *

_His heart near skipped a beat when he saw her pull up in front of the loft. His heart actually did skip a beat when she texted him that she was coming to Rosewood for a long weekend and wanted to see him. She'd gone off to college almost two months ago, and they hadn't spoken much since. But the two weeks before she'd left for school, they'd been almost inseparable. And he let her go away without much trouble, not wanting to cause a scene or show attachment. But she was coming back for him._

_He watched her every move from the window. One leg hitting the pavement at a time as she left her car, and her ponytail bouncing as she climbed up the stairs to the entryway of his loft._

_"Spencer," he hugged her. "How's life, campus chick?" He teased._

_"Good," she laughed nervously. "Can I come in?"_

_He nodded. "Of course, sorry," he moved out of the way so she could come in._

_"It must be great to have your own place. My roommate is literally the messiest person I've ever met." Spencer said as she found a seat at the edge of the couch, and he joined her. He had his hands on his knees, nervous. _

_Did she want to hook up? Hang out? What they'd had was by no means a relationship, maybe not even a friendship, But it was fast, furious, and crazy. They'd spent his first bit back in Rosewood, and her last bit, holed up together in the back of his truck and sharing secrets they could only tell one another. Who was the town criminal to judge to bad girl for having feelings? And vice versa._

_She answered his internal questions when she leaned on his shoulder and sighed heavily, happy to just watch a movie with him, silent otherwise._

_"I have to tell you something," she finally sat up, nervous. She sat on her hands when she felt them shaking. _

_"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow, his crooked smile started to appear discreetly._

_"I…I think, I mean not think, I…"_

_"Are you okay? You look pale."_

_"I'm fine," she swallowed hard, feeling more nauseous by the second._

_"Are you sure?"_

_"I wanted to know if you wanted to go for a walk," she said quickly, shooting up to her feet. She thought that if she didn't get outside in the fresh, cold air in the next few moments she would spew everywhere. She wasn't sure if it was her nerves, the layers she was wearing or her first bout of morning sickness, but regardless she needed to get out of the loft._

_"Sure?" He seemed confused by her demeanor but followed anyway._

_They walked close enough that their hands kept brushing, but neither latched. _

_"This is nice… perfect Fall weather today," Toby tried to make small talk after watching her walk in silence and swallow over and over again._

_"Mhm," she crossed her arms over her chest._

_After a few long seconds of silence, she stopped in her tracks._

_"What's up?" he said, watching her kick around some dirt in her tracks, trying to find whatever interesting thing she saw on the ground._

_When she looked up, her eyes were much wider than before. Almost fear-filled. Maybe tear-filled, but it might have been the wind. "I'm pregnant." She said bluntly._

_No, no, no, no, no. I heard her wrong, he thought. His heart skipped a beat, and felt like another, and now he was sure it was just going to explode out of his chest and he'd just collapse right here in the middle of the park._

_"I'm having your baby," she said again when he didn't respond. "I still have to go to the doc—"_

_"Stop talking." he started to continue on the trail they'd started._

_"Toby," she caught up to him. "You can't just run away from me."_

_"I just did," he grumbled._

_"Toby, talk to me." Her eyes were definitely tearing now. "I'm scared. Talk to me, please?"_

_"What is there to talk about? You're pregnant. So what? You have to go back to school. I've only got the loft because I agreed to renovate it by myself so I can live there free until it's done. You take care of it, move on."_

_"Take care and move on? Toby it's a baby not a rash."_

_"It's a problem that neither one of us can deal with right now. Do you really want to end up back in Rosewood with a baby?"_

_"Well—"_

_"I haven't even seen you in five weeks. And God knows you're not shy. Why should I even believe that it's mine? Huh? How many other guys have you tried to pin this on?" As soon as the words left his lips he regretted them._

_"Wow. Of all people to judge." She shoved him sideways towards the trees. "It's yours, okay?"_

_"Well if it's my problem just take care of it and send me a bill. I don't need to know details. Just fix this. We both don't need this, Spencer. You got out of Rosewood - don't come back now."_

_The fear was constricting his throat and his guilt over his loudness and his cold remarks sent him running through the trees. She didn't even try to follow him, and he didn't look back to see if she was trying._

_The last thing he heard were her sobs._

* * *

Toby swallowed hard at the memory of how adamant he was that the child he and she created should never be born. And there he was, sleepily being dragged by a woman who'd replaced the girl he'd last seen four, almost five years ago.

"I thought you'd forgotten or something." Toby said sheepishly, moving out of the way so she could open the door.

"Ready to work?" She said, letting him inside and locking the door behind him.

"Uh, yeah. Just show me where everything is."

"Wait here." She left him in the kitchen and went into her bedroom to put Aaron down with a movie.

"Okay, listen up," Spencer came back in like a whole different person than the one he'd encountered earlier. "You don't say anything to Aaron, you got that? He doesn't need to be confused. And you and me - we aren't friends. But I am thankful for the favor and I will be friendly so long as you don't mention anything from before the other day's elevator incident. Pretend you didn't know me before then." She instructed, getting in his face.

"Okay, okay." He raised an eyebrow, putting his hands up as if he was surrendering.

"Good, now follow me." She said and brought him to the bedroom in the back corner of the apartment, diagonal from her own. "This will be Aaron's room. The bed's in the box over there." She motioned towards a box with a picture of a black wooden bed with bookshelves attached on either side of the headboard, probably in 50 pieces.

"You can do it?" She watched him inspect the box.

"No problem." he smiled. The room was empty except for a toy chest and an old rocking chair from her childhood room. "Anything else?"

"Well, there's a ceiling fan I thought I could install myself but if you don't mind," she smiled.

"What else? I cleared my day and this won't take long at all."

"Just the dresser in my room." she shrugged. "But do this first, Aaron's taking a nap in my room. I'll be in the living room working on my laptop." She had recently started online classes to finally get her degree.

He nodded and went to work. He finished Aaron's room in only two hours, not asking for anything or even making much noise.

Spencer came in with a bottle of water, only to see the room was done. "Wow," she smiled. He'd even put the sheets and comforter that were packaged next to toy chest on the bed. "He doesn't know about any of this stuff," she gushed, nearly forgetting who she was conversing with. "He's never had his own room, we've always been in an apartment where we had to share. I hope he likes it, I think he'll be excited." The bedding was outer space printed and had glow in the dark spaceships and stars on it.

"He's gonna love it," he said, trying not to focus on the fact that they'd been smushed in a studio apartment all this time, and reprimanding himself for not checking in with her all of the times his gut told him to.

"I have glow in the dark stick ons for the walls I figured he could put up himself, something fun to do."

"If you have any extras I could stick em on the ceiling above his bed. That might be cool."

"Yeah, totally." She smiled, giving him the package of planets and stars, dialing back her giddiness when she stepped backward, realizing there was a lot more in between them than it currently felt like.

She started to unpack Aaron's books into the bookshelves and the toys into his toy chest.

She disappeared without a word and called him inside after a moment. "You might as well eat before you do my dresser, it's already 12:30." There was a PB&amp;J on the counter with a glass of lemonade.

"Thanks," he sat down.

"I'll be in Aaron's room with him," she said, disappearing into her bedroom and laughing as she spun Aaron around on her way to his room, his hands over his face since she told him it would be a surprise.

Toby couldn't help but laugh and try to peek when he heard Aaron yelling and laughing in excitement over his big boy room. Spencer let him sit on the floor on a towel to eat his sandwich while she read to him from the rocking chair. Toby felt intrusive, listening, but at the same time couldn't help himself. He was so curious about their lives.

Spencer came out after a few minutes, just as Toby was leaving his dishes in the sink. She was bringing Aaron's plate to the sink and they kept getting in each other's way, doing the awkward dance that happens when you both try to move out of the way and just keep getting more in the way.

"Sorry," he flushed, stepping aside finally to let her by.

"Thank you again." She tried to smile. "My bedroom is this one right here," She pointed. "I'll be out here cleaning up."

He nodded and went inside, wanting to talk about his son's excitement, his son's life, her life. But he didn't.

When he got to her room, he did, however, let his eyes sift through the things she kept - her black bedding, not interesting, fabric headboard with some scuffs on it, painted night stand that was clearly from her childhood room. But then he noticed the pictures on her vanity. One of Hanna holding what he assumed was baby Aaron, Aaron's first birthday, a picture of her holding a little Aaron, a picture of Aaron with a little girl, a separate picture of a little boy who didn't look like Aaron, and a small photo at the very top of Spencer with a tall, dark, foreign looking man kissing her cheek from behind. He wondered if this was a current boyfriend, and part of him almost felt jealous. He stopped in his tracks and dropped the screws in his hand when he heard steps, afraid of what Spencer might do to him if she caught him snooping. But it was just Aaron.

"Hey, bud." He crouched down. "Do you wanna help me make Mom's dresser?"

"Like building?" He asked. "Like blocks?" He smiled devilishly.

"Not quite, but sort of. Why don't you be my helper. I'll tell you when I need a tool and you can give it to me, okay? I need the screwdriver. It's the yellow handle one. Do you know yellow?"

"This one!" He jumped up, proud of himself. He was used to his Mom quizzing him on everything - colors, shapes, letters, pictures of people and characters to identify. She wanted him to be the best and brightest he could be.

"Yeah, thanks Aaron." He took it.

Spencer didn't notice right away that her son had migrated off to her room, but when she came out of the bathroom and heard voices, she saw. And she almost barged in to stop it. But her son was laughing and having fun. And she decided that for now, that was all that mattered. He didn't need to be upset.

Spencer went back to Aaron's room to start putting his clothes in his closet and on some shelves in the meantime, closely listening for Aaron and Toby.

After a bit, Toby came in in a rush.

"That was quick," she said pulling a $20 bill from her pocket to give to him. "Thanks. And thanks for letting Aaron help."

"I'm not done just yet." He sighed. "Aaron kinda threw up in the living room." Aaron was now close behind Toby. "I don't feel good" he started crying and Spencer picked him up. "Shit," she said under her breath.

"You can go if you want," she offered to Toby. "Caleb can come fix the dresser later."

She was rubbing Aaron's back cooing and comforting him while talking to Toby.

He nodded and left the room, and when Spencer came out after having tucked Aaron to get a cool rag for his head, she saw Toby cleaning her floor.

"Oh…i thought you left. Thanks."

"The dresser will be done in five minutes." He said getting up from the floor and throwing the paper towels he'd dried the floor with into the trash.

"Oh…thanks." She went back to Aaron with a cool rag, as he was burning up, and then lingered in the doorway while Toby worked.

"Does it freak you out how much he looks like you?" She broke the silence.

"A lot, actually." He said putting in the last drawer.

"No denying he's your son," she sighed, half laughing, half teasing.

"I shouldn't have —"

"I'm kidding." she breathed. "I'm trying this new thing where I try to be less…intense. I'm trying to be a good role model."

"You're a good Mom, for what it's worth."

"I try." She shrugged. "Thank you again." She extended her hand with the $20 bill again.

He pushed her hand away. "Is he gonna be okay? Do you want me to run to the pharmacy?"

"Actually," she sighed. "Advil. The purple or pink liquid one. Not the blue one. He'll throw that right back up…if you don't mind." She shoved the money back in his face. He took it this time.

"You got it," he said running out, leaving the money she'd given him on the counter with another $20 folded into it. He put it behind the cookie jar so she wouldn't find it right away.

He came back with both the pink and purple Advils, ginger ale, soup and crackers.

"Shhh," she said as she let him in. He just fell asleep.

He nodded and unpacked the bags. "I bought both just in case. What do you think he has?"

"Just a bug. Tabby was throwing up this morning, so either she gave it to him or he brought it home from day-care and it hit her first."

"Tabs?"

"Hanna's little sister. They're best friends."

"So he'll be okay?"

"You look so worried," she kind of laughed, but inside also kind of wanted to hit him. _You weren't worried when you didn't want him. You weren't worried for almost 4 years of his life. Not when he was in the hospital and needed stitches when he first started walking. He doesn't even know Aaron's middle name. Ugh. _

_"_Well I…I guess I am."

"He's fine. I'll wake him up on the half hour to give him his medicine and make him some soup. He'll be good as new by Monday."

Toby was picking at the callouses on his hands. "Do you think I could come by sometimes? Just to see him. I mean, he's a kinda cool little guy."

"He's very cool," she corrected him. "But…I don't think so."

"Just once in a while. While you're here. We could maybe…be friends?"

"Look, I am sorry about how I snapped earlier and I do appreciate how you were patient with him when he wanted to help you. He's a curious kid and gets his hands in anything you let him. But you're just… not reliable. And I absolutely will not introduce him to anybody who will hurt him. If he gets attached to you and then you change your mind, well, I can't have that. You can't just pick and choose when you want to be a father. You are or you aren't. You chose not to be. And we're okay, the two of us."

"I was a jerk, I know…I probably still am sometimes. But I've really taken time to re-evaluate my life. And even that little bit of time I spent with Aaron today…I can't explain it, but I just got this feeling."

Spencer hated this, she felt the mother inside of her getting soft. And what mother didn't want their son to have a Daddy deep down? "Because he's special." she grinned. "This isn't a game, Toby."

"I know that."

"Well, how about this. Maybe, maybe we could hang out for a bit and if I think it's okay I'll let you come over and hang with Aaron and me together. Maybe."

"That's fair, okay." He agreed to her hesitance, willing to take what he could get.

"You should probably go, though." She said trying not to be rude.

"Call if you need anything," he said, writing down his cell on a napkin.

She nodded, figuring she'd honestly probably throw the number away.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Aaron crawled into Spencer's bed and sat with his face super close to hers. "Momma? Mom? Momma? Mommy? Momma?" He said touching her face. She jumped up and saw the clock said 3:02.

"What are you doing? Don't you like your big boy bed?"

"The bed is making me itch all over. I'm itchy all over." He was scratching his chest.

"Let me see you," she said turning on her lamp and lifting his shirt to see spots.

"Oh no, baby. You've got chicken pox."

"I'm a chicken?" He frowned "I'm brave Momma"

She laughed. "No, chicken pox. You're sick. It's okay." She got some lotion and lathered him up and let him stay in her bed.

She was called into work soon after, and realized she couldn't leave him at daycare. She called Hanna, who also had the chicken pox and was staying with her Mom and Tabitha since Caleb had never had it, which meant Caleb also couldn't watch Aaron. She called Aria, and her regular babysitter before giving Toby an aggravated phone call. "Have you ever had chicken pox?"

"What? It's like 7AM."

"Yes or no?"

"Yeah when I was like 9, why?"

"Come downstairs," she sighed.

She let him in. "I just have to sign for deliveries this morning and I can before lunch," she sighed. "He should be asleep most of that time and I have Netflix on for him so he shouldn't need anything. Call me if anything. It'll just be an hour or two."

"You've told me 101 times. I got it. I'll just sit right here with my iPad and I'll check on him if I hear anything."

"Thanks," she hated herself for leaving him with Aaron but had no choice. The bakery was all she had, and if she ever wanted to open her own, she'd need to work her way to the top of this one first. Which meant taking on responsibilities no one else would.

Aaron came out fifteen minutes later. "Mama?"

"She went to work, but I'm here."

Aaron seemingly immediately forgot what he wanted and dropped his stuffed dog plushie. "Minions on your tablet?"

"What?"

"The game," he whined. "Like on Momma's and Uncky Caleb's"

Toby looked puzzled but did a quick app store search for minions and Aaron pointed and got excited when he saw Minion Rush pop up and so he downloaded it and let him play.

"Wow, you're really good." He was actually impressed. The kid was playing fast and had such tiny hands.

"You just can't crash into stuffs," he explained. "You try," he handed it over when he died in the game.

Toby embarrassingly lost quickly. "It's okay, you can try again and again and again unless Momma takes it away"

"I think it'll be okay," he laughed "Why don't you play again? And show me how to win?"

Aaron very matter-of-factly explained the game. He sounded like a little adult with his words. He was good for a 3.5 year old.

After only about a half hour, Spencer came in looking like she was hit by a truck.

"Momma got spots too," he laughed and pointed.

"I thought you had it already," Toby narrowed his eyes.

"Turns out my sister did, I got the memory confused. I was only, like, 4." She said, plopping onto the couch.

"Momma Toby is even badder at Minions than Auntie Han"

"Minions…" she kind of laughed, barely able to move on the couch.

Toby felt her head. "You're on fire, take an ibuprofen," he said digging in her cabinets.

"On the left," she instructed him and took the pills from him when he came back, dry swallowing them.

"Can we watch Frozen now? Let it go0o0o0o0o0o" He was getting some of his energy back, singing and jumping on the couch.

"You can go," she said, shooing Toby away. "I have to take him to the doctor at 2 anyway,"

"Why don't I just stay until you take a nap?"

Before she could argue, he was helping her into bed.

"Thank you," she childishly squirmed into fetal position as Toby popped in the DVD for Aaron and sat with him patiently.

Aaron snuggled into him halfway through, falling asleep the same position as his Mommy.

Toby felt like something clicked the second Aaron snuggled in, looking back and seeing Spencer through her open door. This was the family life he'd have right now if he hadn't run. He held Aaron tighter, letting himself imagine for just that moment that he hadn't.


	3. Chapter 3

_Spencer let out a loud moan as Toby suckled at her neck, surely leaving evidence of their rendezvous in the form of a love bite. She could already feel it forming, but she didn't care because it felt so good._

_She ran her hands down from under his shirt and furiously tackled his belt buckle as he lifted her up, holding her against the elevator wall as her legs clung around his waist, her hands still at work between their bodies._

_"Just give it to me," she hummed sexily in his ear, desperate for him to fill her void. _

_"Not yet," he said into her ear as he nibbled at it, kissing down her neck, his growing member poking her inner thigh, mere centimeters from where she wanted it._

_"But I need you," she begged breathily, feeling his fingers grab at her backside. _

_He continued to tease her for several minutes, before finally succumbing to her pleads, nearly throwing her against the wall as he passionately and furiously pounded into her, emitting a scream from the depths of her throat._

_"Spencer….Spencer….Oh God, Spencer," he screamed_

* * *

"Spencer…Spencer," Toby lightly took hold of her shoulder and shook her gently. "It's 1:20, you have to leave for the doctor in fifteen minutes."

Spencer shot up, gasping for air, her hand on her chest. "Toby?!"

"Yeah, it's me," he laughed a little. Her hair was stuck to her face with sweat and she was red as a beet. He put the back of his hand to her face. "Have you taken your temperature? You're burning. Are you sure you're going to be able to drive?"

She shifted uncomfortably on the bed. The dream had felt so real, and she was starting to question if it was her fever or her dirty dream that had caused her to sweat through her sheets. She ultimately decided that the fever had caused the dirty dream version of their reunion, so even if the steamy elevator sex had caused the sweating, it was still because of her fever.

"Spencer?" Her ears perked up and she looked at him. "I'm fine. Where's Aaron?"

"Napping on the couch. Can I drive you?"

"No, no…go home."

"Can you call me later and let me know how he is? I know you're going to say I don't have the right, but… you're sick, and he's sick, and this is a little freaky for me, and even if I can't be in his life I want to know he's okay…"

"Toby — I'm sorry, but the room is half-spinning and my brain is pounding out of my skull so I can't have this conversation with you right now. I will talk to you later, okay?" She pushed herself to stand and he lent a hand as she stabilized in the dark. "Thank you," she tousled his hair as she headed inside and grabbed her keys, gently scooping up Aaron without waking him and leaving the apartment with Toby, locking up behind him.

As she watched him get into the elevator going up, she swore her heart skipped a beat, the dream version of him slamming her against it's walls flashing in her mind. This wasn't going to be as simple as she'd hoped.

* * *

Thankfully the doctor's schedule was open and he was able to examine Spencer as well. She was given an antiviral medication to stop the multiplying of the virus, and Aaron was told to just keep on with the Advil and lotion, and it'd clear up in a few days.

Spencer stopped at the pharmacy before heading home to pick up her medicine, and let Aaron pick a package of ice cream, promising him they would watch a movie and eat ice cream and have a "sleepover" since they were both sick.

When she got home, Aaron begged for the iPad and since he was sick, she caved and let him take it in his room. She filled a glass from the tap and took a sip to swallow her medicine, and then some regular cough and cold medicine. She opened up all of the cabinets before she realized she'd forgotten she'd meant to buy soup for them while she was picking up her medicine, but Aaron's ice cream mission had distracted her. Not to mention that she kept having flashes of her dream.

She sighed and called Toby, realizing he was really the only one in the area she could call. She had a second-wind of guilt, realizing only then just how much she really did depend on Caleb and Hanna on a fairly regular basis. She made a mental note to think of something nice to do for the two of them to repay them. Even if they were the ones who offered and loved Aaron like crazy.

Toby answered on the second ring in a hurry.

"Whoa buddy, calm down," she couldn't help but laugh. "He's fine, he just needs rest. Me, too. Butttttttt if you want to be the concerned patron you were earlier, I could really use a favor," she said, chewing on her bottom lip. It was a bad habit she'd had since she was a kid. She'd bite on her lips, and worse, her inner-cheeks. She could still feel the rough patch of skin inside of her mouth where she'd bitten so much, especially when she had braces as a kid which made the injury worse, that it never healed properly.

He felt relieved when she called and asked him for a favor. The more she let him in, the more he could prove that he was different now. And while he may not deserve it, he could do his best to make up for lost time. He'd known his share of familial issues and now that he'd realized that his son was not just an idea thrown at him from a tiny girl who didn't look like she'd be a mother, but he was now a real person he'd talked to and thrown a ball with and laughed with, and how it had aged that same tiny girl into a mature, chipper mother and woman, he knew he had to do his best to ensure they had what they needed. Even if it took a long time for her to trust him to do it as more than favors here and there.

He also knew that Spencer was very smart and knew she could use him for a lot of this stuff. He was earning his keep, and he didn't mind.

"Anything," he said all too eagerly. He meant it, though.

"Can you bring us soup?"

He could almost hear her bottom lip puffing out subconsciously. She had a highly emotive face.

"Consider it done. What do you guys like?"

"I'll eat anything, but Aaron won't touch anything with rice in it."

Toby nodded, as if he could hear her. He made a mental note, cataloguing all of the information he could about his son. If he was going to be a dad, he wanted to be a good one. Good dads listened.

"Toby?"

"Oh, yeah, okay cool. I'll be there soon."

* * *

Toby juggled the bag while trying to not burn himself taking her spare key from under the light fixture next to her door. She'd texted him asking him to just come in and she'd put the key outside since Aaron was getting cranky and she was going to lay with him.

When Spencer heard the door, she darted up from under Aaron in his bed, trying not to wake him and shhh-ing Toby.

"He just fell asleep," she whispered. "Thank you," she said unpacking the containers of soup. He went all out and didn't buy the Campbell's cans, but the pre-packaged soups from Whole Foods that are made fresh and don't have a ton of salt and additives in them.

"Like I said, anything…" he lingered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"What?" she put her hand on her hip, seeing the look in his eyes like there was something he wanted to say, but wasn't.

"It's just that you're miserable and he's miserable and if you're going to keep needing help…"

"You can stay for now," he finally sighed. "But only because Caleb's not able to come and Hanna's sick too."

"You don't have anyone else?" He raised his eyebrow. "Like family or like a friend or a guy…?"

"Subtle," she rolled her eyes. "I do have a boyfriend, if you have to know."

"So why isn't he here taking care of you guys?" He said putting the soups in the fridge.

"Because he's on a business trip and won't be home for another week, and he lives back where we were in Allentown. And I'm not ready for him to meet Aaron…" she rambled. "Not..none of this is your business, you know." She said pretzel-style on the couch. "Are you gonna sit or not?"

He sat on the other end of the couch. "I'm just trying to catch up on the last few years. I wasn't trying to pry. I asked about anyone, not just a guy."

"You know more than almost anyone how much my family and I don't get along," she shifted. "My pregnancy didn't exactly help that situation. Unless you count helping me out of that dreadful town…unless you forgot that, too."

"I remember…" he said defensively. "Look, if you don't want me here, I'll leave. I just thought I was helping."

Her face softened a bit. "I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling well. And I might still be a little mad at you. It's not easy having you here. I don't like it. But I need help. And you want to help. So I guess i'm kind of forced to let you."

"That's valid. I can understand that," His understanding and cool tone almost shocked her. But then again, this seemed like the Toby she remembered from before she informed him he was an expectant father. He was calming. It was what kept her coming back to him after they'd first hooked up, even if just for a few weeks.

He was trying to be understanding because he knew his place in all of this. He was shocked that he was even in the apartment right now. But he had to take chances and push boundaries for anything to change. Even when she was being mean, he smiled. He'd missed her. He'd acted like he'd forgotten about them, but he'd thought about her much more often than he'd prefer to admit.

"You're being too nice," she narrowed her eyes.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." He smirked.

She started to laugh a little at his coyness, but the laughter sent too much movement towards her upset stomach sending her to the bathroom. After emptying what little she had in her stomach, which was mostly water and stomach acid since she hadn't eaten all day, she weakly hobbled into the kitchen, turning on the tea kettle.

"Let me do it," he jumped to his feet. "I guess it's true chicken pox is worse when you're an adult." He laughed as she laid down on the couch. He returned a few moments later with a mug of tea with honey and sat back on the edge of the couch, lifting her feet onto his lap to rub them for her.

"You can't butter me up to get to Aaron," she teased, taking a sip as the steam fogged up her glasses, causing them both to smile a little.

"I'm not trying to." He retorted, to which she made a face. "Okay, maybe a little."

"Don't you have anything else to do but sit around and wait for us to need help?"

"I'm in-between projects right now. I'm working my way up in an architectural firm but right now I'm just freelancing on special projects. I do some grunt work building on the side, but only to keep a more steady income."

She nodded, and was interrupted by Aaron quietly crying in his room. She went to him and tried to tell him he was just having a bad dream, but he was burning up and scratching too much. She picked him up and he nuzzled in her neck like a baby, sucking on his thumb. "I know, baby, I know." She kissed his head. "You're hot. Momma's gonna get you more medicine for your fever and your itchies," she said plopping him down next to Toby and going into the bathroom.

Aaron started sobbing again as soon as Spencer stepped away. "Teddy," he whined, his thumb still in his mouth. "I need Teddy," he looked at Toby, his eyes flooded with tears.

"Uh…alright. I can…do that." He said scanning the apartment for a teddy bear but coming up short, Aaron just throwing anything he gave him.

Spencer returned with Advil, lotion and a pair of gloves. She knelt next to Aaron and put his gloves on. "You have to keep these on so you don't hurt your itchies by scratching too much," she said.

"Mommy I want Teddy," he rubbed his eyes crying.

"I tried but he didn't like the stuffed animals from the toy bin." Toby didn't want her to think he'd ignored the child's cries.

"Teddy's not a doll, it's a blanket," she looked more flushed than before, he thought, and he wasn't sure why. He attributed it to her fever. She felt all the heat in her cheeks and hoped he hadn't.

"If you take your medicine Mommy will go get Teddy," she said holding the little medicine cup up to his mouth. After a few minutes of whining he finally swallowed and crawled across Toby's lap quickly to grab his sippy cup filled with juice.

She lotioned him up and disappeared back into her room and came back with a quilt of dark grays, blacks and whites with a few patterned panels adding a bit of color. Toby watched as his son snuggled up against it and found the corner edge of the quilt, taking it up towards his nose and flicking the corner back and forth against his nose, his eyes seemingly heavier with each passing second.

"Wow…" Toby sighed. "That was…"

"It's his comfort object," She explained. "He loves rubbing the corner on his nose, I'm not sure why. He did it as a baby too. Sometimes he does it with the tags on stuffed animals." She said softly.

"Wait—" Toby had stopped mid-sentence earlier because the center of the quilt had caught his eye. It was a row of colorful Grateful Dead dancing bears.

* * *

_Spencer kissed his mouth one last time before darting to the other side of the bed, as if she were playing a game. Because she was. She always was. It was one of those quick, teasing kisses as she practically ran away from him, laughter of them both filling the room. He lunged after her, grabbing her by the hips and leaving a mess of kisses on her chest and shoulders, blowing raspberries on her skin between kisses causing them to laugh harder._

_They'd never meant for it to become this. At least, he didn't think either one of them had this amount of pre-planning. It started out as a chance. He knew the people of Rosewood were not particularly fond of him and that rumors swirled around and around about him and his past and his convictions. But Spencer was different, she always had been. They'd never been friends, but in Rosewood, you knew everyone's business. He remembered her as being the girl who always marched to her own drum. He always remembered her as the only person in Rosewood to disagree with Alison DiLaurentis. Which meant she was a force to be reckoned with. Part of him wondered if she had anything to do with Alison's disappearance and death. But he knew better than that. But if he was going to reconnect with anyone, it would be her. And it worked. She had her own demons, and she ousted them with sex, drugs and alcohol. She'd dragged him into her backyard for a quickie during a party, which is normally where they'd both have left it. But after an awkward run-in at the post office, he told her he didn't want to avoid each other. And then before he knew it she was bothering him to come out for a drive at 3AM. And then 3AM became 3PM and they weren't night time explorers or fuck buddies, they were real friends driven by a recklessness he couldn't explain but he craved after beginning this with her._

_He didn't know how the days had turned them into these people. But he did know he was happy to have her here. _

_He'd just moved into the loft, where he'd undoubtedly be putting months of work and labor into restoring it, but, he would be living rent-free. She had offered to help him unpack, desperate to do anything to get out of her own house - a struggle he knew all too well. _

_Of course, emptying boxes only lasted so long before they'd decided christening his new apartment on his new sheets was a better use of the afternoon. She unlatched herself from her position of tangled limbs and reached into her purse, hanging off the bed with her ass in his face, which of course he jokingly grabbed at and slapped before she returned onto the bed._

_She yelped. "Be good or I'm not sharing," she said holding up the little baggie of weed she'd pulled from her purse, shaking it in his face, and expertly rolling a joint on her thigh as she sat next to him. He was quiet while he watched her. He thought her concentrated face was sexier than anything else, even if she didn't agree. She put the joint between her lips as she disappeared over the edge again, his hands attaching themselves to her butt playfully once more, and picked up her denim shorts from the floor and pulling a yellow lighter from the pocket. She came back up and squealed. "I said be good!" She laughed and blew a raspberry on his tummy. She lit up the joint and took a few hits, blowing smoke out of her nose and mouth like a dragon. _

_"How do you blow out your nose?!" He laughed as she giggled, smoke emitting from her face, laughing as she passed him the joint._

_"You just blow out your nose, just like it sounds," she laughed, watching him try and fail, coughing as he inhaled too much smoke._

_"You're bad at this," she teased, taking the joint from him and this time blowing out "O" rings slowly._

_"And you're a fucking tease," he said in her ear in a low, raspy voice, his fingers trailing up and down her bare spine teasingly._

_After they'd finished she shot up off of the bed and started to walk across the apartment. He marveled at how free and confident she was walking around his room without any clothes on, not even bothering to pull a sheet around herself or look for her clothes that had been thrown amongst the boxes. Granted, he'd seen her in all of he glory a few times now, and she definitely had nothing to hide, but it was still adorable and amazing and even intimidating that she hadn't a care in the world. When he'd laughed at it once before (in an endearing way of course), she carried on about bodies being just a shell and who cares? _

_"Hey, hey want are you doing?" He said pulling up his boxers and joining her in front of his closet - the one thing that they had finished unpacking was his clothes._

_"I don't want to wear my denim shorts anymore, they were riding up and giving me front wedgie. Guys have no idea how uncomfortable it is to be cute." She teased, pulling a blue, patchy, worn out Grateful Dead t-shirt and pulling it over her head, the fabric falling perfectly to fit her as a dress, coming down to her upper-middle thigh._

_"Well you do look good in my shirt," he said, pulling her closer._

_"That's why I'm keeping it," she teased back, rising on her tiptoes to put her lips just a few inches from his mouth before returning to her normal stance, leaving his lips un-kissed._

_"Oh, you're gonna get it now," he said tickling her until she fell onto the bed, laughing until they were crying. _

* * *

"Is that my—"

"Don't." She interrupted, knowing what he would say. She got up and brought her mug to the kitchen, and motioned for him to follow so they could let Aaron rest and fall asleep.

"Why did you do that?" He smiled more than he'd mean to expose.

"I wanted him to have a connection. Don't get me wrong, I hated you. But I still thought he should have roots, even if he doesn't know they're there. And when I made it…" she trailed off. _Part of me still thought you'd come back for us, _she thought. She'd made it while she was still pregnant. "I was just in need of a project. Hanna goes on Pinterest too much and then before I knew it she was giving me a pattern." She recovered.

"I love that," he admitted, still with his crooked smile. "I don't expect you to tell him, by the way. After all I've done…"

"I definitely can't… I can't do that to him. But maybe one day, if you're still around, I mean if you really figure out that you want to be a full-time Dad." Her cold medicine was making her a little softer around the edges.

"You have no idea how much I've realized I want this, but I also know how awful I was to you and to him before he was even born. I'm just asking for a chance to be here. I don't expect to all of a sudden be Dad of the Year. Even if he never knows I'm any more than a friend of yours, an Uncle or something. I just feel this connection…"

"Well…if you remember me, if you remember that shirt," she laughed. "I was not the same person I am now, at all. I was crazy. People change."

"You were sexy as hell that day," he smirked, remembering how much confidence she'd had, but honestly thinking less about her bare body and the sex they'd christened his loft with, and more about how much she'd made him laugh.

"Don't push it," she jokingly pushed him back, blushing as she remembered walking around his loft without any of her clothes after having had sex on almost every surface of the place. What they had was never romantic, but it was certainly passionate and raw and the kind of desperate that was almost good. Almost.

He smiled a little, remembering that that was the day he realized he really cared about her, and that it wasn't the physical stuff either one of them kept coming back for, it was each other.

"I guess you're right, thanks. Well until then, I hope we can be friends. I know I don't deserve that but… we had a good thing. Might be kinda nice to see if we can have that again."

"Don't push it," she repeated, nudging him this time to let him know she was letting him in a little bit.

* * *

Toby had ended up staying for dinner with them and helping her take care of herself while taking care of Aaron. After they all ate together, she sent him home.

That night, she dreamed not of the alternate universe elevator ride, but of the afternoon in the loft that they'd reminisced on that afternoon. And once again, she woke up drenched in sweat, stuck to her sheets, with his name ringing in her ears.


	4. Chapter 4

_Bang bang bang bang. _

Spencer kept knocking on the door loudly, refusing to give up. She needed to talk about this and it had to be now.

He stumbled to the door, only half in his sweatpants as he opened the door, his boxers nearly completely out of his pants.

"What's wrong? What's going on? Where's Aaron? Is he okay?!" He panicked.

"Nice Snoopy drawers, Caleb." she smirked. "Uncky Caleb!" Aaron rolled in on his scooter from down the hall and near knocked over Caleb.

"I thought you were dying out here or something, you rat." He messed up her hair and then moved on to Aaron, lifting him up and blowing raspberries on his stomach, emitting a series of yelps from Aaron as he started to kick his legs and beg to be put down through his laughter.

Caleb finally put him down and lightly patted his backside, "go start up Mario, bud." He pointed him towards their extra bedroom, which had become the game room, despite Hanna's pleas to make it her home design room. To make up for it, the entire walk in closet in their room became hers, filled with not only clothes but mannequins and tape measures and spools of fabric, and a sewing table lived in the back corner of Caleb's cave. it was mostly Aaron who convinced Hanna.

"What is it, kid?" He looked over at Spencer once Aaron had trotted off inside and they could hear the tune of the Xbox starting up.

"Is Hanna home? I texted her and she said she was back from Ashley's last night and…"

"She's at the fitting for her bridesmaid dress for…" he trailed off, almost forgetting that once Spencer was a crucial part of that clique, and now she would be the only one without a pink dress and bouquet next month. "Nevermind…what can I do ya for?" He said uneasily opening the fridge and uncapping a beer for himself, tilting it towards her to offer her one. She usually didn't, but she took it and took a big sip.

"I'm sorry for bringing up Emily's—"

"It's okay," she said slowly and soothingly, her hand gripping his shoulder. "That's not what _this_ is about," she said, holding up the bottle for emphasis. Honestly, she was a little sad, but she wasn't hurt. She understood, partially, anyway. She felt lucky that Hanna and Caleb had stayed so close to her, and Aria was a big presence in her life as well. She was shocked she hadn't lost them, too. Especially Hanna.

* * *

_"You're _**_what?" _**_Emily's eyes widened, looking her friend up and down. Hanna squeezed Spencer's hand, trying to give support silently._

_"I'm pregnant. And I'm keeping the baby," Spencer said firmly, although still not making eye contact. She had made peace with it, by now just about three and a half months along. She was telling her parents tomorrow that she was expecting and wouldn't be returning to school after this Thanksgiving break. All she wanted was to get through the perfect Hastings family meal before having everything crash down._

_"Are you alright?" Aria asked sheepishly, not sure if she should look her friend in the eyes or not. She remembered having a pregnancy scare right after she'd lost her virginity — no one had ever told her that the influx of hormones and changes your body went through after having sex could mess up an otherwise perfect cycle. And Spencer had just calmed her in quiet lulls, not offering much vocally but just her presence being enough. She remembered all the horrible things she'd said about having children less than a year ago to the girls right in this room, and now one of them would be mothering one._

_"I'm fine…I haven't told my parents yet. I'm going…going to do that tomorrow. I don't think I'm going back to school, bu—"_

_"Does the father know?" Emily interjected. She was hurt. Spencer was always the one trying to talk sense into the group, she was the good one. Seemingly silently judging everyone from her perfect Hastings perch. How could everything she knew about good-girl Spencer be wrong? "Who even is the father?" She hissed._

_"He does know…" Spencer looked down. "He doesn't—"_

_"He doesn't matter. What matters is we've got a little one on the way and we're all going to help out. We're all going to be aunties." Hanna kissed Spencer's cheek, being the only one to know about her rendezvous with Toby and the horrible things he'd said to her. The only one who knew Spencer for who she really was behind closed doors and in between sheets of the unmade beds of half the boys of Rosewood. And some of the men, too. She'd kept that part of her life private somehow; her biggest secret. It's not like she was proud of being the town pump._

_"But who is it?" Emily pressed. "I mean, how could you be pregnant when none of us knew you were dating anybody? Except for Hanna, apparently? What the hell is that?" Emily cut in all fired up. How could she bare all her secrets to someone she thought was her best friend when she didn't know a thing about her personal life?_

_"Easy, Em." Aria tried to protect Spencer. "But…who _**_is _**_the father?"_

_"Toby Cavanaugh," Spencer said finally, barely above a whisper. Not so much because she was embarrassed, although she internally braced herself for blaring judgement, but because it still hurt to say his name. As it turned out, sometimes people surprised you. She thought the surprise with Toby was that he was softer than she'd imagined, more affectionate than anyone she'd ever known. But it turned out the real surprise was that underneath it all, he was just like every other man she'd ever allowed in her life and inside of her: they were all disappointing, single-track minded, and most finally - they left._

_"I can't believe this," Emily threw up her hands. "Were you together before he got sent away? How much were you keeping from us?! He's only been back…and if you're already—"_

_"End of August," Spencer interjected. "He came back the end of August. We were never together before then." Her eyes darted around the room. She knew it was time to come clean. About everything._

_"And you've been together since…" Aria looked her up and down. "Hanna you knew about this?" Her eyes darted towards her blond friend._

_"He's a criminal!" Emily yelled._

_"ENOUGH, Em," Hanna stood up. Spencer wanted to defend him, but then again, she'd realized she really didn't know him at all._

_"I found out when Spencer found out she was pregnant, not before then." Hanna wanted to stand up for Spencer, but also needed to cover herself._

_"So you were hiding this from all of us, Spencer? Why—"_

_"Because we were never dating," Spencer admitted. "I was drunk and high off my ass at Hanna's party and we had sex in my backyard. It happened a few times after that, too." She came clean._

_"You were doing drugs?" Emily's eyes widened. "Why would you—how long?"_

_"The past two, almost three years. But it's not like it sounds-" Spencer had started this all when Ali disappeared. _

_"I can't do this," Emily started to put her jacket on._

_"She made a mistake, it's…it was a mistake." Aria tried to calm Emily down. "I'm sure it was just a one time thing, with Toby, right? And you've only ever drank a little bit, with us…"_

_"Well…" Spencer trailed off. "It's been a few different guys, honestly. I just…everything was so hard after Ali disappeared…I mean it was hard with her here, too, but shit, I felt relieved when she was gone, and if that doesn't fuck you up…I needed something to distract me… but that's not the problem. It's not like i don't know who the father of my baby is…that's all I have the energy to worry about right now…this baby," she rested her hand on her still-flat stomach. Only she could notice the slight puffiness of her middle, not enough to even make her dress fall any differently. Not yet. But she knew her baby was in there. She could feel it with every ounce of herself._

_"You're telling me," Emily got in her face. "Sex, drugs, alcohol, God knows what else! With God knows who! And here we were thinking good little Spencer was still the class act virgin you pretended to be. How could you lie to me—to us like that! To our faces! When Aria slept with Ezra you acted like it was an abomination yet you were screwing around and getting high with…how many? Four? Five? Six different guys? More? What else don't we know?!"_

_"Stop it!" Spencer was crying now. She'd never counted and she wasn't interested in doing so. Why was Emily reacting this way?_

_"You think you know someone….but you're just a liar. A pretty, little liar." She let out an exasperated breath. "You acted like you were so much better than Ali, but you're the same. Actually, you're worse. Ali never made any excuses about the games she played. But you? You've been lying to all of us. Is anything we know about you true?" Emily spat out. Spencer twitched at the correlation between her and Alison. They had no idea how inter-connected it all was. But she wasn't like Ali. She was only trying to survive._

_When Spencer didn't answer her or even come to her defense, Emily kept going. Once she got revved up, it was hard to stop. This was all so out of left field, she didn't understand. "Let me ask you this: how could you let yourself get pregnant? Didn't you think it might be a good idea to be prepared if you're going to screw just anyone? How could you have a baby when you're so irresponsible that you're doing drugs?"_

_"Emily! Enough!" Hanna yelled as Aria stood timidly in the doorway, her eyes saying sorry a hundred times over but her mouth unable to say anything. Because she was in shock, too. Spencer was the Mother Hen. The good egg. The one that kept them all grounded after Ali had disappeared, and ever before, when Ali would shit all over them and make them feel like worthless followers. Spencer was always the one to stand up. And it turns out she was high for half of it? _

_"I'm over it." Emily stormed out. _

_"You can text me?" Aria shrugged, following Emily out quickly, as Emily and her had come together and honestly, Aria felt betrayed, too. _

_"You can go," Spencer said to Hanna, sucking in her bottom lip and rolling it through her teeth, trying to suppress the cry building up behind her eyes. _

_"Spence, they were just shocked…I mean if I hadn't know from when you and—"_

_"You can never tell them about that part," Spencer nearly growled through gritted teeth, sitting back on the bed and finally letting some tears out. She had a limited number of people in this world she could count on, and more importantly trust. And half of them just walked out the door when she needed their hands to hold most._

_"No one will ever know that part," Hanna promised, hugging her friend and putting a hand to her pregnant stomach. Ever since Ashley had gotten pregnant, Hanna was very in tune with all of it. The babies, the pregnancy. She was more than prepared to help Spencer. And she wanted to. She loved her new baby sister._

_"I just thought that my family might react that way but…I thought that if anyone was going to love this baby when it comes out it would be the four of us…"_

_"Well I'll love this baby enough for me, Emily and Aria," She promised. "Maybe I'll end up with a children's fashion line and we'll have ourselves our own little model," she giggled and Spencer finally laughed through her tears._

* * *

"We haven't been so close in a very long time. I know why and even understand. But I don't think it made it better when she tried to extend an olive branch and I refused to go back to Rosewood but I can't, I just, I can't—" She was starting to become hysterical just thinking about Rosewood.

"Shh…shh, it's okay," Caleb pulled her in. She sucked in his scent. It smelled strikingly similar to Toby's and she made a mental note to tell Hanna to buy Caleb a new cologne for his birthday. She felt good enveloped in someone's arms, especially his. There was a time when she was extremely attracted to Caleb, and only dreamed that he would envelope her this way. But that brief moment in time had long passed, and now he was simply her best friend, second only to Hanna.

Caleb kissed her hair and nudged her over to the couch. "What did you actually come here for…now that I've completely derailed you twice," he muttered the second part under his breath. Not only for Spencer being Hanna's best friend, but for the history they'd shared as a group of three and for just the two of them, Caleb was extremely protective of Spencer. He would do a lot for her.

"I'm sorry," she wiped her her eyes where it was still a bit damp.

Caleb made eyes at her begging her to tell him. "It's stupid, it's girl talk," she said, chugging back her beer.

"As if I don't know anything about that," Caleb laughed. He'd been dating Hanna for near seven years at this point and they'd been living together the last four years. In fact they'd moved in together very shortly before Aaron was born. He was fluent in girl talk.

"You're just going to laugh at me," Spencer blushed.

"I don't think we've had any real secrets in, like, seven years." He raised an eyebrow. They had an extensive history. He was also the one with her for most of Aaron's birth since he was the only one around to bring her to the hospital. She was with him when he got the call that his previously absentee father had died from alcohol poisoning. They'd seen and heard the worst and most vulnerable of one another.

When she still didn't answer, Caleb raised an eyebrow. "Is this about Toby? Did he try anything?" He stood up as if he were ready to leave and pin Toby against a wall. "Did John hurt you?" John was her boyfriend she'd been casually seeing the past month or two. He hadn't even met Aaron yet.

"See, this is why I wanted Hanna. You panic."

"Fine, I'm listening," he sat back down and finished the last sip of his beer.

"So, we were sick the last week, you know, Hanna was too… and Toby was helping us out a little bit," she saw the look in Caleb's eyes. "I had no one else!" She defended herself. "But, uh, I've been having some, uh, **_dreams."_**

"Like…naughty dreams?" Caleb's lips turned upward in a devious smile. "If you wanna spill details," he joked.

"You're disgusting," she hit him with a pillow. "I just…I can't escape 'em. I don't know what they mean. And I don't want to be having them. I mean, I'm with John. I like John. I don't want to sleep with John," She sighed. "I mean Toby!" She corrected herself after getting a look from Caleb. "I don't want to have sex with Toby."

"Has John met Aaron yet?"

"Soon…probably. I think I'm ready but he seems a little unsettled by it. I think it's still weird to him that my son is only like, three years younger than his half brother."

"Ouch, that's weird."

"Tell me about it." She shrugged. "But I've got worse issues. Aaron's kind of attached to Toby. He was with us half of last week and all Aaron's been able to talk about since is _Toby _this and _Toby_ that and _Do you think Toby likes Mario Kart like Caleb? _and Toby…he wants to be with him, too. But I just don't feel right about it. But he's his father…"

"You need to go with your gut," he put his hand on her shoulder. "A deadbeat dad sucks," he admitted. "But having none at all? That feels no good either. If I could have known my dad sooner…"

"i just don't want him to get hurt. And I love him enough for both…"

"I know you love him. Han and I do, too. But none of us are his dad. And one day he's going to realize that he's missing that. If he hasn't already. And it won't matter how much he loves you or how happy he is. I'm not saying you should…you know i hate that guy and if anyone ever hurt you or Aaron like he did ever again…" he trailed off, cooling off. "I'm just saying if you choose not to, which I totally am in support of, you just need to be prepared. And explain to him early on what's going on."

"How do I do—" She was interrupted by a crash coming from inside. They both jumped up and ran towards the game room, where Aaron was sitting on the floor surrounded by games and a Hershey's minis everywhere, all from the top shelf of Caleb's gaming storage tower.

"Baby what happened?" She lifted him and wiped the chocolate off his face.

"Caleb lets me have candy when I win but he wasn't here and I beat level FIVE MOM" He said holding up five fingers proudly.

Spencer looked at Caleb and raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything about Aaron's sugar consumption in front of him.

"Sowwy Uncky Caleb," He said reaching his arms towards Caleb for a hug, simultaneously wiping chocolate all over Caleb's neck and collar and Spencer just laughed as she pulled Aaron off so she could put him down and help clean up the games that fell.

"Another one," Aaron held up a little velvet box that had tumbled under the ottoman. "What game is?" he shook the box.

"That's, uh, not a game, Bud." He shoved it in his pocket.

Spencer opened her mouth in shock and a smile started to grow from ear to ear. "Caleb Rivers is that what I think it is?! Are you going—"

"Do I hear my little Prince in here?" Hanna's voice echoed from the entryway as she hung the garment bag with her bridesmaid dress on the hook by the door for now.

Caleb quickly shut the door of the game room. "Yes, but, shut up," he was flushed. "She'll be finishing her internship right after our anniversary and starting a full-time job and I think it's…ugh, we can do this later." he panicked at the impending click-clacking of Hanna's heels coming closer. "Buddy, don't tell Auntie about the box? Okay? It's a secret."

"Like the candy?" he giggled, his face smeared with chocolate still.

"Like the candy," he sighed, laughing.

"Okay," he shrugged and went back to his game. Caleb opened the door.

"I hope you meant me," he said wrapping his arms around Hanna.

"I meant my favorite man!" She wiggled out of his arms and lifted Aaron, giving him a million kisses as he squirmed and begged her to stop, laughing the entire time.

"Say you love me and I'll put you down," she offered.

"I wove you Hanny," he giggled and gave her chocolate kisses.

"Did Caleb sneak you candy again?" She laughed, wiping his face and licking her lips.

He blushed. "Nooooo," he ran off.

"How was Emily? Was Aria there?" Spencer questioned, looking down at the floor.

"You weren't supposed to say anything!" Hanna hit Caleb's chest.

"Ow," he stumbled back. "Look, sorry, but you should have told her." he walked off.

"I'm sorry," Hanna sighed.

"Don't be," Spencer shrugged. "I was just curious."

Hanna nodded. "They're good. Aria was asking for Aaron and you. You two should make a trip out when you get a chance,"

Spencer sighed. Emily still wouldn't come see her. At least Spencer had good reasons why she wouldn't go back to Rosewood. But Emily hadn't seen Aaron since he was a bald, drooling infant.

"You're feeling better? Tabitha?"

"Tabby!" Aaron jumped up. "Tabby here?"

"No honey she's not, but maybe this weekend we can see if Tabs can have a sleep-over?"

"And watch Minions?" He clasped his hands together in a begging motion.

Hanna tousled his hair. "Yes." she looked back at Spencer. "He's going to get away with murder."

"Tell me about it," Spencer put her hands on her hips. She might be biased, but her kid was the cutest.

"T-O-B-Y," Spencer explained. "He wants to…you know, be here. For now."

"Oh, my God. Well you're not going to let him, right?! I mean, he...?" She stopped. "Well actually just tell me. What happened?"

"I—" Spencer was interrupted by Caleb. "She's been having dreams about the two of them doin' the nasty," he raised his eyebrows.

"You're disgusting," Hanna rolled her eyes. "Why do I put up with you?"

"Because I'm cute," Caleb grinned causing both women to roll their eyes simultaneously.

"He's not kidding," Spencer groaned. "I don't know what to do!"

"Honey, it's been like, what, five years? I think you just need to get laid."

"Woahhh, wait. You still haven't…with John?"

"You know who was the last," Spencer admittedly dreadfully. She was 23 with an almost-four year old who hadn't had sex in almost five years. It was weird in just about every way.

"It was probably just your needs coming up in your dream in whoever you saw last. Plus you were taking cold meds. That'll screw with anyone."

"I guess…" Spencer sighed.

"I'm telling you. Just do it, you'll feel better and if it's good, the dreams'll stop," she shrugged and smiled.

"Okay I'm done with this conversation," she said as Aaron climbed up between Spencer and Caleb.

"Mommy I want Uncky Caleb to play," he pouted.

"You have to ask him then," She nodded over to Caleb.

"Pleeeeeeease?" Aaron climbed up onto Caleb pinning him down.

"Only because you said please," Caleb smiled and threw Aaron over his shoulder bringing him inside.

"Go call John, we can keep Aaron until six," she said, nearly pushing Spencer out the door.

xx

"The traffic was horrible," John said as he got out of the car and walked towards a waiting Spencer, sitting patiently on the bench outside her building, sketching and doodling in her planner.

"I'm sorry," she said standing to greet him, kissing him gently before he squeezed her sides and deepened the kiss, his tongue near attacking her mouth before she could prepare for it.

"Next time you want to see me, you should drive up to me. I don't have the time to sit in traffic for two hours. I just don't have that kind of time," John said lighting up a cigarette and walking towards the door.

"I'd actually rather you not smoke upstairs, I don't want Aaron's things smelling of smoke." She said stopping him with a hand on his chest.

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes.

"I was thinking," she leaned up looking into his eyes dreamily. She knew he wasn't the best, or the nicest, or the most handsome. But he accepted her skeletons, all of them. And he was still here. "I think it's time we, uh, take it to the next level," she teased at his top button on his shirt. "But I'd like for you to meet my son," she fixed his tie.

"Where's the kid?" John raised an eyebrow, taking a handful of her backside as she leaned into him.

"He's at Hanna's, but they'll be coming any minute. They have dinner plans."

"Okay, I'll meet him." He agreed. "But then, we can…" he squeezed her harder and smirked. "I've been so patient,"

"I know you have, and I promise, it'll be worth it," she kissed him once. She was too afraid to let anyone in who wasn't serious after her past mistakes. Not with her son in her life now. She had to be different.

After a few minutes of sitting outside together and kissing on and off, Toby pulled up and loudly cleared his throat as he walked by them towards the entrance, their lips fused together much to Toby's dismay.

"Yes?" Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"Shouldn't you be doing that upstairs?" He frowned. "Where's Aaron?"

"Who the hell is this?" John stood up protectively and jealously.

"John, this is Toby, Toby, my boyfriend John," She introduced the men. "Aaron is—" she was interrupted by the little boy whizzing past her on his scooter, Caleb and Hanna not far behind.

Aaron stopped when Toby caught him, as he was going too fast towards the, albeit mostly empty, lot. "Be careful," He said crouching down and steadying him.

"TOBY!" Aaron screeched and clung to his leg. "You are going to play with me…" he said it more like a statement than a question.

"Honey, you have to ask people if they want to play, you can't tell them."

"But I know he wants to play with me," He pouted. It broke Toby's heart, because he did.

"We're going to play with John tonight," she gestured towards the man next to her. "Aaron this is Mommy's friend, John. Can you say hi and give hugs?"

"No," he crossed his arms over his chest. He was stubborn like his mother.

"Aaron C. Hastings you better uncross those arms right now."

"I wanna play with Toby!" He yelled. Spencer looked at Toby, and then back at Hanna and Caleb.

"Well, we, uh, gotta go. Call me?" Caleb shrugged, pulling Hanna away before she got them too involved.

"Toby, like, your—you've got to be kidding me…" John got aggravated.

"John, please," she tried to calm him, putting her hands on his shoulders before bending down to scoop up Aaron to bring upstairs.

"Goodnight, Toby," she stomped off inside, visions of her dreams flashing as John slipped in hand in her back pocket, who was looking back at Toby grimly and smirking, sure to make a show of how he man-handled Spencer in front of him.


	5. Chapter 5

_He has no right to move in like this. He should not be taking over my brain like this. Who does he think he is to get upset over John and impede on our evening? _Spencer thought her whole way up to the apartment with John, all the while wishing John wouldn't squeeze her butt while she was holding her son. There had been a time where Spencer didn't respect her body or the way others treated it, but since becoming a mother that had drastically changed. Mostly because before she had Aaron, her teen years had been filled with fear and honestly, she barely cared if she survived or not because everything around her was catching fire after Ali disappeared and it was only a matter of time before she was burned beyond repair. Aaron gave her a new reason to live, and a reason to respect herself more. How would she love another human and take care of them when she could barely be held responsible for herself? She silently reprimanded herself for even letting herself think of Toby when she was trying to have a nice evening with her two boys.

She unlocked the door with a brooding Aaron on her hip, desperately trying to wiggle from her arms. She let him go when they entered the apartment, bending down to his level and holding him in front of her for a moment. "Aaron Hastings get that little pout off your face before Momma has to kiss it off," she teased. "Be a good boy for mommy, please? No iPad until you show me you're going to be good. Okay?"

Aaron grunted and started to wiggle again. "Fine, I'm gonna be a good boy Momma" he sighed "But I'm not always a good boy sometimes I'm bad and then you are mad and I go time out" he pointed over to his room where he was sent on time out.

Spencer couldn't help but smile a little, suppressing a laugh. Her kid was something else. "Nobody's perfect," she shrugged. "But you should always try to be good, right?"

"If you say so," Aaron said. "Can I go play now?"

"Yes, buddy," she said ruffling his hair. He had quite the little 'tude going on. But it was cute and she couldn't yell at him for that. He had undoubtedly gotten his smart remarks from her if she was being honest.

"John, why don't you go play with him while I make dinner?" She said throwing her arms around him, their noses nearly touching.

"He clearly wants your ex," John said jealously, still brooding from the encounter in front of the building.

"He's not my—" she sighed, composing herself as to not have a fight on their first night in so long. "He's just in a mood, he's a toddler, it happens. He's friendly, he'll play with anyone if they offer. Go on," she encouraged. "It'd make me _really _happy,"

"Okay, fine," he said kissing her cheek and heading into Aaron's room and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Hey kid…whatcha got there?"

"Dora and Boots!" He explained, opening his hands to show the little figurines in his grip.

"Isn't that a girl toy?" John inspected it.

"Dora is a girl and Boots is a boy," Aaron explained, not quite understanding the question. John let it go and took out his phone, as if just being in the same room as Aaron was the same as occupying him. Aaron was making sound effects as he made his figurines interact and fly and crash into things, throwing them eventually at John.

"Don't tell Mommy," he covered his mouth laughing a little. He assumed that every person that came around was there to be his friend. Caleb, Hanna and even Toby had let him get away with little things because he was cute and because he was generally a good kid. He assumed the same from anyone else since he rarely spent time with anyone else besides his Mommy of course, Ashley, Ted, Tabitha, Aria, and Spencer's family a handful of times per year.

"You can't do that, you're being bad," John took the toys away from Aaron and spoke sternly. Aaron sucked in his lip and made a mad face at John. "I'm a good boy," he argued.

"Just go play over there," he shooed Aaron away and continued to scroll through his phone, deleting junk and outdated emails.

Aaron climbed up on the bed and crawled behind John, hoisting himself up by holding John's shoulder. "Games?" The curious toddler peered over John's shoulder at his screen.

"This is e-mail." John answered.

"Can I find games? Minions? Pwweeeeease?" He clapped giddily.

"No, you can't use the phone."

"Mommy and Unky Caleb and Auntie Han and Momma let me, it's okay I can play" Aaron assured John.

"No means no, stop it," he forcefully pulled the phone out of reach from the grabby little boy's chubby hand, causing him to teeter backwards and fall back onto the bed, immediately crying.

Spencer quickly came in to see John at the edge of the bed, not trying to help Aaron at all.

"What happened?" She was looking to John as she scooped up Aaron, kissing his head.

"Mean man," Aaron pointed with an angered look on his face, shoving his head into the nook of Spencer's neck forcefully after letting out his emotions.

"What happened?" She repeated again at John.

"Nothing, he just wanted my phone and I said no. He's out of control."

Spencer was taken aback by the comment. "He's three," she reminded John. She pursed her lips looking at what was starting to resemble an overgrown child. "Dinner's ready, come inside," she said kissing Aaron's cheek and bringing him inside, helping him into his booster seat and making his plate.

John following begrudgingly and scanned the table, finding Spongebob shaped mac-and-cheese, teeny chicken cutlets, carrots and applesauce.

"What are _we_ eating?" John said in a tone that suggested his impatience for kid food.

"We're all eating this," she said scooping a serving of mac and cheese onto her plate after helping Aaron.

"But this is kiddy food," John protested.

"And we're eating with a kid," she reminded him as Aaron picked up his chicken with his fingers and coated half his face with ketchup. "I can't make two dinners every night, and so sometimes we eat kid meals. Other times he will only eat little portions of what I make. We compromise."

"I just wish you'd have told me we were eating garbage before, I would have come after dinner."

"It isn't garbage. I made the chicken, it wasn't frozen. If you don't want it don't eat it, I don't know what to tell you," she felt like she was arguing with a child.

"It's fine," he said, finally making his plate.

Spencer sighed, eating in mostly silence except for Aaron's mumbles and humming.

After dinner, she set Aaron up in his room with her iPad to watch Netflix in his bed and cozied up with John on the couch.

"Thank God he's finally in bed," he said, kissing her. She didn't kiss back.

"You were supposed to enjoy your time with him," she frowned.

"It's just hard to relate to a little kid," he shrugged. "Come on, let's just try to have a romantic evening," he offered, his hand latching to her knee.

She nodded and let him kiss her, kissing back now and falling back onto the couch letting him press his body into hers. This is typically the point she'd kiss him one last time and say Goodnight, but she'd promised him a romantic night and for the first time in years felt an obligation to give herself away. Besides, she had Hanna's voice ringing through her ears telling her this would stop her sheet-soaking dreams of Toby screwing her brains out.

"Momma…?" Aaron called from his room, whimpering. "Momma," he whined again and Spencer pushed John off, sliding out from under him to Aaron's room to tend to the boy. He had been pretty good about potty training for almost a year now, but once in a while he'd still have an accident, and tonight was one of those nights. She told him to tell her next time, but handled it unlike her perfectionist parents would have and cleaned him up and changed the sheets and his pajamas calmly, trying to soothe him and his embarrassment and frustration with himself. She tucked him back in, and returned to John.

"Where were we?" He grinned, pulling her in by her hips. "Maybe we should take this inside, where there'll be less interruptions," he nodded towards her room.

"Actually," she firmly attached her hands to her hips, forcing his hands to move from her body. "I don't think tonight's the night," she bit her lip. "I'm sorry, it just doesn't seem like it's supposed to happen tonight," she sat down next to him.

He breathed in and exhaled rather loudly, moving over from her a bit. "Fine, we shouldn't if you don't want to," he smiled, trying to change her mind. "I just, I'm trying to work on our relationship," he was trying to guilt her at this point, but the memories flooding in made her want anything but to change her mind.

* * *

_"I'm trying to work on a relationship. Starting one," Spencer read the text message again before locking her phone and turning it over, unable to even think about looking at the message thread again, the mere thought of it sending a churning feeling into her stomach. She plopped down onto the bed, letting her new wedge sandals fall to the floor as she relaxed, smoothing her dress over midsection._

_Tears starting coming out of her eyes, falling down sideways as she laid down, pooling near her ears. _

_She remembered not even a week ago, lying in his bed after giving herself to him for the third time that month. She usually didn't sleep with the same guy more than once or twice, but he was different, she remembered thinking. Gentle. He respected her body and moreover seemed to care about her for more than her body, or at least more than the part he could insert himself into. She had become completely infatuated with him and addicted to the attention he gave her. Truth was, it wasn't so much about her individually as it was that they were young, this was relatively new territory, and it would turn out that he was much too nice a guy to engage in the meaningless encounters she'd become partial to._

_She remembered moaning into his neck as he rubbed her bare back softly with the pads of his fingers, comforting her as she came down from their high and tried to drift off to sleep. He always encouraged her to stay. And he always did this, holding her close as their bare bodies pressed, rubbing her back and drawing lines across her spine with his nails so lightly that it felt like fireworks were dancing up her spine in the best way. She hummed little things into his neck and he told her she was sexy. She hadn't yet realized the difference between sexy and beautiful. _

_She'd texted him that night to ask if she could come over, as it was a Friday night and there was nothing like starting the weekend off with a _**_bang. _**_And truth be told, she missed him a little bit. In a town like Rosewood with creeps going bump in the night, she sought safety in everyone she met. That was part of the problem. She was so scared of what the darkness held outside she had never wholly considered the dangers of the darkness in the bedrooms of the boys she thought might protect her. _

_Her plan was to stay over, and linger long enough that she could con him into taking her to the school dance the following night. Maybe they'd have a night worth more than a bump and grind goodnight. Maybe after all this time she'd have someone to call her own, she briefly let the thought pass over her. But instead, he informed her that they couldn't hang out ever again because he was trying to get into a relationship - with a girl who wasn't her. As if the nights he held her meant nothing...like the rest. She felt nothing short of mortified that it had actually meant a little bit to her, and that she had maybe fantasized and daydreamed a tiny bit about what it might be like to fall asleep in the arms of someone every night. And maybe even have that person be the same every time. But as of this moment, she'd sworn herself to a strict rule of no more sleepovers with boys, no matter what. She wouldn't let herself get fooled again._

_It had hit her so hard he might as well have come over and have been the one to knock her down onto her bed. At least she'd have a bruise to validate her pain. She was eager to a__lleviate the pain from the blow, even if it wasn't a true and physical blow, digging in her drawer for the small orange pills that she'd stolen from her father after his knee surgery, popping two, ensuring her a high that would promise relief and euphoria as she sunk into her bed._

_She remembered not so long ago (even though it felt like forever ago) her first boyfriend broke up with her because she wouldn't have sex with him. And today, she was someone who was good to hang out with if you needed a quick release, but wasn't the girl you'd ask out, even if you'd cradled her to sleep and seen every birthmark and felt her from the inside. Sex, she realized in that moment, was the only thing that defined her worth. Losing her first boyfriend had hurt, but her heart was broken for the first time when she'd realized in that very moment at only sixteen years old that good grades and a people-pleasing, over-achieving spirit meant nothing over her sexuality._

_Safety was what had started the game, but this realization only perpetuated it. She cried herself to sleep that night, but not before scrolling through her contacts and picking her next conquest. On to the next._

* * *

Spencer blinked a few times, looking him up and down. "I'm not saying it's not going to happen or that it's not going to happen soon. But…I need to feel ready." _I need to feel like I'm worth more than a quick fuck, _she thought as she sighed heavily, disappointed herself that she wouldn't finally get the release she'd been so itching for.

But she refused to be that girl again. She refused to be the girl that put out. The girl who wasn't worth anything more than her body pressed up against a man's who would leave her for a girl more worthy, or more _something. _

"Maybe I should go," John started to get up, reading her saddened state.

"No," she grabbed his hands. "Stay," she curled up into him. "Just a little bit," she pleaded.

While the triggered memory may have spawned a need to protect herself and abstain from sex, it also conjured a deep feeling inside that craved to make him stay, unlike her first boyfriend who'd left when she'd chosen to abstain and the boy who broke her heart the first time. Although she had fortunately had the opportunity to talk it out with the boy who broke her heart first, clearing the air and understanding that his actions were never meant to diminish her worth, and she was honestly over it, the experience still played a major role in who she'd become. It had taken a lot of courage to put herself out there again after nearly five years since her last encounter, which had clearly ended on less than favorable terms given the fact that she'd been alone in mothering her child since the day she told Toby she was expecting.

He flipped on the TV and kept his arm around her. They fell asleep like that, and Spencer decided maybe John was a little better than she gave him credit for.

* * *

Toby grimaced as he came inside from his morning run and headed straight up towards Spencer's apartment, swearing he saw that prick Spencer had brought home, John, hopping into the elevator on Toby's way out. He kept trying to tell himself it was someone else, but he knew better. _She's a grown up and she's not yours, she's never been yours, and you're not even into her. Yeah, that man might end up being your son's stepfather and realistically the only father he's ever known, but— _Toby stopped his thoughts from derailing and marched over to Spencer's, remembering why he'd headed to her apartment.

He knocked on the door twice and stepped back, patiently waiting and praying to whatever higher power was listening that she not answer wearing any article of John's clothing.

"Aaron, get up off of the floor and please eat your breakfast," she pleaded sternly, unable to entertain the idea of scooping up the flailing child off the floor with the kink in her back from sleeping on the couch. She always tried to be authoritative without actually yelling too much, because honestly it just stressed her out more and Aaron didn't respond well to it. He just got upset and the tantrum would turn into hysterics. He was a good boy and would even sometimes put himself in time out after doing something wrong.

"NO!" Aaron kicked. "No waffles, only Olaf cakes," He continued to kick.

"That's it, time out," Spencer said as she went to the door, pointing him towards his room.

"Thank God you're here," she pulled Toby in, the red little boy sitting in the corner slowing his whimpering as the guest walked into the house.

"Toby!" He exclaimed.

"Three minutes quiet," she reminded Aaron. Their rule was that time out would last as many minutes as years he was old.

Aaron sat down more contently now, picking at the carpet in the doorway of his room, a bit more calm down that he had an audience.

"What's going on?" Toby looked around, relieved to see Spencer in regular, unsexy pajamas. It was easier for him to believe noting happened when there was no evidence in the apartment. "Rough morning?" He teased.

"What the Hell did you make with Olaf for him for breakfast when we were sick?" She said pulling Toby into the kitchen. "He's been asking for it for days and he was throwing a major tantrum about it before you came over." Spencer explained.

"Why didn't you ask before," he laughed, secretly over the moon that his son had become obsessed with something he'd introduced. "If you take one of these guys," he said, opening her cabinets as if he were comfortable as anything there, and pulling out an empty squeeze bottle you might put a condiment or dressing in, "and you put the batter in it so you have more control over it. Whatever design you draw in the pan with this, the outline, will start to cook first so will be darker than the rest you fill the outline in with. So it looks like a character. My Mom used to make me Mickey Mouse ones that way, and sometimes my name or animals. I just drew his face. Pretty standard snowman." He shrugged.

"Do it. Now." She said pulling out the can of pancake mix, milk and eggs. "Please," she raised her eyebrows desperately, her eyes wide and pleading with him.

"Of course," he said, grabbing a bowl and starting making the batter.

He watched from the corner of his eye as Spencer sat at the edge of the couch and waved Aaron over from time out. "Three minutes is over, buddy," she said as the little boy ran over to her and she sat him next to her, getting very close to him but retaining her smooth, calming voice. "Do you know why I put you in time out, buddy?" She said ruffling his hair.

He started to whimper. "Bad boy," he explained.

"Don't cry, baby," she kissed his head. "Can you tell me what you were doing that was bad?"

"I screamed and said 'NO!' like that, really loud, Mommy. And I threw my breakfast on the floor but I only wanted Olaf and you didn't make me Olaf — that's why I did it."

"But you know you can't do that every time you want something you can't have."

"I know, Mommy." He started to fake-cry and whine again.

"Don't cry," she rubbed his leg again. "Are you going to be a good boy?" She smoothed out his hair again. She really was obsessed with her son. He was everything.

"Yes Mommy," he stood on the couch and grabbed her face with his hands.

"Give kisses?" She laughed as he held her face. He did that often. She had come to realize this was something of a hug to him. But sometimes it was to get your attention.

He slobbered a bit on her face before climbing down and running into the kitchen to Toby. "Are you doing OLAFS?" He jumped and clapped.

"Yes, but Mommy and Toby are going to eat them all if you're bad," he threatened with a smile.

"I good, I promise," he jumped up and down again.

He made Aaron a pancake and a few normal ones for Spencer as well, putting everything in the sink afterwards and lingering as Aaron sat down to eat.

"Thank you," Spencer put her hand on his shoulder.

"I can't believe how well he took his punishment. You talked to him like a grown up and he responded."

"Punishment shouldn't be scary," she shrugged. "It should be about learning a lesson. That's what I'm trying to teach him." She sat down and took a pancake from the plate he'd made and cutting a second in half (he'd made three), and pushed the plate towards him. "Eat with us," she offered.

His eyebrows raised in surprise as he was offered a spot, which he gladly accepted.

"Toby play?" Aaron asked with food falling out of his mouth.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Spencer laughed and wiped his face. "We'll discuss it after you finish and wash up,"

She smiled and looked at Toby, taking a bite. She wondered what was going on with him in his mind, what had changed that he suddenly was sitting with them as if nothing had ever happened. She also secretly wondered if somehow Aaron sensed something with Toby given his almost instantaneous latching to the man with whom he shared his starry blue eyes, the only two people Spencer had ever seen with such a deep shade of blue coloring their irises.

Aaron consequently shoved the rest of his pancake in his mouth all at once, food popping out everywhere. "Play now?" He grinned his devious grin.

"Go wash hands and Mommy will be in to brush your teeth in a minute and then we will talk about playtime," she offered. "Mommy has to finish eating."

Aaron ran off into the bathroom quickly, wanting to rush everything until playtime.

"He's full of energy this morning…glad to see he's definitely feeling better," Toby smiled.

"He likes you," she offered hesitantly, her cheeks flushed for some reason. "Why did you come over, by the way? Did you need something, or did you just sense that I was about to have a meltdown right next to Aaron?" She joked.

"That would be a cool super power," he joked back. "I, uh, actually did need something…the development firm I work for rebuilt the Lancaster Barnstomer's stadium, the local minor league baseball team, a few years ago so every year towards the end of the season they have this big friends and family day and we're always invited… they have the mascots and little games some little inflatable slides and like, huge bounce-houses," he nervously smiled, realizing he was talking fast. "I was wondering, do you think Aaron could go? You are welcome to come along...I just think he'll enjoy it. I understand if you don't want him to, since it's like, with me, and he's just getting over the chicken pox, and—"

"Slow down," she said softly, placing her hand on his. He was near shaking, which was weird to see. "I don't know, honestly. I don't want to confuse him. I mean you can't just swoop in after three years and be fully engaged…"

"I know that. I just thought it would be a fun thing for him. I know he watches baseball with your friend Caleb, he told me that like 500 times when I was checking updates on the Yankee game last time I was here."

She thought about it, and realized Aaron really did love baseball and would have a lot of fun. She didn't wanna take that away from him. "Well," she started to reconsider, watching Toby's eyes light up as her lips pursed in thought. "Maybe if I was there it would be okay," she felt guilty the more she thought about how excited Aaron would be to be there at the stadium, and if she were being honest, how excited he would be to hang with Toby again. Even if that prospect freaked her out majorly.

"Think about it?" He asked hopefully, taking the dishes and putting them in the sink for her.

"I will," she nodded. "Thanks for thinking of him, I guess. It's cool you remembered what he said. He babbles about a million things a minute so it says a lot you caught that."

He shrugged. "I'm always thinking about him…" he caught the glare in her eyes. "Now. And I meant, I'm always listening… Just let me know. It's Saturday," he lingered by the door. "I'll…talk to you later?" He said awkwardly as he let himself out slowly.

Spencer couldn't help but laugh as he left, his awkward hesitance sweeter than he realized.

She went in to help Aaron, unsurprisingly having to wipe down the counter from the water and soap bubbles he'd gotten everywhere. She grabbed his toothbrush and helped him brush. "Hey buddy, wanna bake with Mommy today?"

* * *

Late that afternoon, Toby was still sitting around the apartment waiting to hear from Spencer, trying to push images of John out of his head, and more so the stupid thing he admitted that morning about his thoughts about Aaron slipping out. He was kicking himself about all of it.

"One minute," he called upon hearing the knock at the door, searching for his wallet to pay for the pizza delivery. He was still unfolding crumpled 5's and 10's before he looked up to see a laughing Spencer with Aaron hanging at her side standing at the door carrying a wide tupperware container filled with homemade Rice Krispie treats with strawberry icing. "Still on for Saturday?" She asked as she offered up the desserts, a smile spread across her face.

* * *

_A/N: Hope you guys liked this chapter! Anyone know who Spencer's flashback heartbreak was? Hmmmmm. _


	6. Chapter 6

Aaron's favorite thing about his Uncle Caleb was that he worked from home, so he was always around to play. And his job really was about playing, since he often was asked to test video games for glitches and re-work coding. It also meant that the job of babysitter often fell on Caleb, for both Tabby and Aaron. And today, he would have both. Tabby was laying across the couch with her head dangling off the arm, singing loudly to herself. Caleb perked up when he heard a knock at the door, knowing Aaron was getting dropped off. Although two kids were a bigger responsibility, Caleb always liked having the two of them together better than just for him, they were more than happy to hang out together and kept themselves busy.

"We're gonna have ice cream cake!" Aaron yelled as he ran in towards Tabby.

"What?" Caleb laughed, narrowing his eyes and looking at him run towards his best friend.

"On your special day, not today," Spencer called after him and laughed with Caleb, walking past him towards his cupboard and taking a mug to steal some coffee. She could tell it was freshly brewed from the strong scent lingering even in the hallway just outside his door. "I reminded him last night that his birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and asked him what he wanted on his special day. Now I think he's under the impression every day is going to be his special day."

"Well if the ice cream cake is really happening you know I'll be there," Caleb teased.

"Like you wouldn't come anyway, you loser," she teased, taking a sip from her mug.

"You know that coffee habit is probably why you got such an energetic kid, right?" Caleb teased as Aaron kept running between the couch and the recliner, throwing himself against one before running to the other to do the same, making grunts and noises as he did so.

Spencer and Caleb both laughed a little. "Or why I feel like I've got a little old man for a son," she smiled. "He talks like a little grown-up."

"He's smart like his Mom," Caleb offered, kissing her hair. Hanna may have been her best friend through her pregnancy and even still today, with the exception of her son, but Caleb was the most protective of her, and Aaron. From the minute he had found out she was pregnant a switch flipped and he became the most affectionate watchdog over her.

* * *

_Spencer sat on Hanna's bed, still trying to digest all that'd happened. _

_She told her parents about her baby, and told them it belonged to her new boyfriend at school — a boy that didn't exist. She may not like Toby right now, but after the time they'd shared together and the way he'd made her feel like a real person and made her feel more than a buzz of a high for the first time in what felt like years, and honestly may have been, she needed to protect him from her family. _

_And they kicked her out. She remembered when Melissa was engaged to her ex-fiancee, she had found herself pregnant out of wedlock, and her parents were supportive and heartbroken with her when she miscarried her baby. Although the circumstances were different, she thought they could be supportive after the initial blow. But instead, they'd told her that any promise of a future she'd had had disappeared, and that any illusion of capability she'd had was just that — and illusion. That her worth was now much less, and they wouldn't have it. So they kicked her out. _

_Now she'd been living out of a suitcase at Hanna's house for the last week and wanted desperately to stop being such a burden on the family who had an infant of their own. The only good part of this was that Ashley and Ted had just moved out of Rosewood, literally still unpacking, and so at least for right now she was out of the town that poisoned her. _

_Ashley insisted so long as she helped with the baby she could stay, telling her it would be good practice. But today, the reality set in that her parents weren't going to come around, even after letting it all sink in for a week. They didn't seem worried about her or their grandchild. They'd said hurtful things to her and validated her biggest fear — she had no worth; she was a failure. It was easy to brush off as a momentary thing, but after a week she was sure she wouldn't hear from them about it or about an apology. And all of it made her chest hurt._

_Caleb came up the stairs and gleefully popped into the room, surprised to see Spencer on the bed and Hanna on the floor, reading from a magazine, showing Spencer pictures every so often but getting no response._

_"Your mom let me up," he informed Hanna. "I thought you went back to school," He sat near Spencer._

_"I'm not going back," Spencer mumbled. She was sitting pretzel-style, and was folding her upper half towards her ankles more and more with each interaction._

_"What?! You're Spencer Hastings, you have to go back,"_

_"Caleb, leave her alone," Hanna warned._

_"Come on Spence, lighten up," he playfully nudged her from his position on the bed near her side._

_"Caleb, stop," Hanna's eyes were nearly popping out of her head._

_"Geez, who died? What's going on with you both today?"_

_Hanna looked worried, and moreover like she was about to lie. Caleb knew the look and shot glaring eyes right back._

_"Do you always have to be so God-damn no—"_

_"Hanna, it's not worth it," Spencer wanted them to stop fighting. She couldn't take everything falling to pieces around her any longer. "My parents kicked me out, so I'm here, and not going back to school." Spencer informed Caleb._

_"She's just staying with us for a little while," Hanna said softly._

_"Your thing with your parents will blow over," Caleb encouraged. "That's no reason to quit school. I'm sure your tuition for the year is paid already anyway. It's not like they can take it away from you."_

_"I'm not going back because I'm pregnant,"she looked up at him with vulnerable eyes and a shaky voice._

_He initially darted backward away from her in shock, and her eyes darted back down towards her lap, feeling nauseous not from the baby inside of her, but because one of the very, very, very few men she respected — one of the only people she respected so much, looked at her like everyone else — disappointment. A Hastings' worst nightmare._

_But his initial reaction only lasted momentarily, as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. "Spencer, I'm sorry…"_

_"It's not your fault," she shrugged, leaning into his embrace and wanting to cry._

_"The dad…?" He started, but stopped as Hanna violently shook her head 'no.'_

_"Who needs a dad, anyway? Hanna and I both turned alright without em, right?" he joked. "We'll take care of this lil guy,"_

_"Or girl," Hanna chimed in._

_"Nah, it'll be a boy," he smirked. "Spence, you're gonna be alright. If anyone gives you a hard time, I'll make sure they regret it," he tightened grip around her and she started to cry into his jacket._

_She was crying because he was so sweet, and was acting the way Toby should have. She was crying because the only person in this world her baby would have would be herself, and that wasn't fair and that wasn't enough. _

_"Hey, stop that," he laughed and rubbed her arm. "I mean it. Do you want me to go kick your dad's ass? Or the father's ass? I'll do it," he said enthusiastically._

_"I know you would," she laughed. "And Hanna already offered to have you do so. But I don't want you getting in any trouble,"s he smiled and wiped her face. "I just don't want to impede on everyone's life. You and Hanna and Hanna's family…" she cut herself off, getting upset again._

_"Well maybe it's that we want to impede on your situation," Hanna chimed in, joining her best friend and boyfriend on the bed. "Maybe between us there's enough broken pieces of a family that we can put them together to make a whole one."_

_"They do say that you can't choose your blood, but sometimes family is who you pick for yourself," Caleb sighed. "Hanna's mom let me in when I was living in the school after-hours. All of a sudden I had chores and dinner to come home to — they gave me a family and now we'll all do the same for you," Caleb smiled._

_"I love you guys," Spencer's lip puffed out like she was going to cry again, overwhelmed by her best friends._

_"And we love both of you," Hanna smiled._

* * *

"That is true," Spencer laughed. "For better or for worse," he was too smart for his own good. She sipped down the last of her coffee and put the mug in the sink. "Well if you can get anything out of him about what he wants for his birthday, clue me in? I asked him but he just kept insisting about the ice cream cake" She shrugged, wanting to make this the best birthday ever. Her baby was getting so big and this was probably the first birthday he'd actually remember.

"Will do," Caleb opened the door for her and then locked up and fed the kids breakfast and then went inside to do some work, leaving them to play.

Aaron and Tabby had been in the living room watching Nick Jr. when Aaron came shyly teetering into the room, sucking on his thumb and climbing up next to Caleb, who was working on his laptop, snuggling in.

"Hey buddy, whatcha doing?" He ruffled his hair. "Having fun with Tabster?"

"Tabby is in the potty," he explained. "We was watching Dora and Boots," he smiled a little, but looked a little sad. Boots was one of his favorite characters because he loved monkeys.

"Cool, bud," Caleb played along and closed his laptop. The little hint of sadness didn't go unnoticed by Caleb. "Do you want a snack? I think Auntie Han bought peanut butter cookies," he smiled, knowing the little boy's favorite treat.

"No," he sighed heavily, almost comically because what did a little boy his size have to be so exhausted about?

"What? Aaron doesn't want a cookie? Are you feeling okay?" He teased, feeling his head melodramatically. He wondered what was wrong.

Aaron pushed Caleb's hands off his face, pushing his hair off his forehead in frustration.

"Are you and Tabs fighting?" He offered.

"No," he was shy all of a sudden, clicking his feet together so the light-up part of his sneakers would go off.

"Well I'm going to get some cookies so you stay right here, okay? You can play with me for now," he said, not fully believing the toddler. He went to the kitchen and wrapped a few cookies in a napkin, handing two to Tabby on his way back. "Did something happen with Aaron?" he asked, the little girl now playing on the floor. She shook her head. "No, we were just playing and talking and watching Dora," she said shoving a cookie in her mouth.

"He's going to help me inside for a little bit," he said kissing her head and going back to Aaron, still sitting there mesmerized by his shoes.

"Are you sure you don't want one?" Caleb held up the napkin of cookies and extending his hand towards Aaron as he sat down. Aaron finally took one and barely nibbled at it.

"Mommy tells me your birthday is coming up. What are you gonna be? 10? 11? 22?" Caleb teased.

"Nooooo," Aaron laughed. "This many!" He said enthusiastically, shoving four fingers in Caleb's face.

"That's right," Caleb laughed, continuing the bit as if he didn't know Aaron's age. "I forgot. So, any idea what you want for your special day? Toys, or a movie, a game?" Caleb offered.

"What's a daddy?" Aaron said shyly, finally looking up at Caleb, his eyes filled with wonder and curiosity. It seemed like he was a little hesitant, as if he thought he might get in trouble for asking, like he'd said a dirty word.

"Uh…" Caleb's heart broke instantly, and he realized he really didn't know what to say. He knew the struggle of growing up without a father, but he also knew how much Spencer loved this little boy and how much she tried to shield him from that anguish — something he hadn't been lucky enough to be protected from. He knew Spencer would be heartbroken to know her efforts to protect him from this had somehow failed. "Well did you ask Mommy? What do you think a daddy is?"

"I think…the daddy is the guy who loves the mommy and all the kids and plays with them." He said innocently.

"Well that's part of it," Caleb encouraged.

"On Dora, Boots had a special day and he wanted to visit his daddy at work because his daddy works at the fair with all the games. Tabby said her daddy's work is boring." He scrunched his nose. "Maybe I see my daddy on my special day?"

"Where does Tabby's Daddy work? Do you remember?"

"Ted works at church" he smiled, knowing he got the right answer. Spencer quizzed him a lot to keep him sharp and reinforce positivity in learning.

"That's right, very good," he smiled at the perked up boy, hoping this would be the end of the conversation.

"Caleb are you my Daddy? Tabby says everybody has a daddy because babies come from daddies" He looked up with wide eyes again and Caleb's heart fell to his stomach.

"No, buddy. I'm your Uncle Caleb," he tried to say soothingly. "But you're my best little guy," he followed up quickly, tickling Aaron's sides. "You know that, right partner?"

Aaron wriggled out of the tickling range. "But daddies are the guys that love the mommies and the kids and you love Mommy and you love me," Aaron reasoned. "So you can be my Daddy, you can like the engine that could you think you can you think you can you think you can and then you can, you can by my Daddy," Aaron encouraged, talking as if it were that easy to rationalize. He liked to 'read' to his Mommy, which meant he memorized books read to him and then held the book while he recited what he memorized. His latest favorite was _The Little Engine That Could._

"I do love Mommy, and I love you very much. But…I'm not your Daddy. You don't get to pick," he tried to talk smoothly like he'd seen Spencer rationalize with him as if he were an adult so many times before.

Aaron's eyes started to well up, "So my Daddy is missing? I have no daddy? But Tabby said everybody has a daddy" he started to whimper.

Caleb didn't know what to do except for envelope the little guy, rubbing his back. "You have a Mommy, and Tabby and Ashley and Ted, and Auntie Hanna and me and Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Melissa and Cousin Taylor, and all your friends at daycare," he reasoned. "You are a very loved little boy," he smiled. "And you're my best friend," he offered, "But don't tell Auntie Han," he started to tickle the boy and he stayed put on his chest, still sniffling, but started to laugh a little bit.

He let Aaron lay on him, heartbroken for the little boy and equally heartbroken for Spencer's reaction to this. He knew he had to tell her, and he knew it wasn't going to be easy.

After a long while, Aaron fell asleep on Caleb's chest, and usually Caleb would go put him on the bed, but today he just held him, never wanting his little bud to feel unloved or like he was missing something again.

Spencer knocked on the door again in the afternoon to get Aaron. When Caleb opened the door she saw Tabby and Aaron knocking toy cars into each other and making sound effects. Caleb pulled Spencer by the arm into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"What are you doing?" She laughed, reaching for the doorknob. "Hanna let it go before but I don't think she'll be happy to find us in here," she laughed,

"Spencer, I uh, have to talk to you."

"Is everything okay?" Spencer folded her arms across her chest. "Did you ask Hanna yet?"Her eyes lit up.

"No…this isn't about Hanna. It's about, well. Your family, I guess."

"What?"She looked baffled, assuming he meant her parents.

"Today…I asked Aaron about his birthday like you asked me to, and uh, he asked me if he could have a Daddy for his special day…he thought I was his Dad because he said I love him and you and that's what Daddies do…and that's true but I'm not… and he was a little sad earlier. I think you need to talk to him. I tried, but—"

Caleb was interrupted by the immediate sobbing bursting from Spencer's face, her hands grabbing onto the counter for support as she crumpled into herself, unable to handle it.

"Spencer, it's okay…" He rubbed her shoulder and closed the lid of the toilet so she could sit down. He crouched down in front of her. "Hey, this doesn't mean he's not okay or that you're not a good mom or even that Toby deserves anything…he's just curious. You know that." He cooed, but Spencer just sank forward with her head between her knees, hiccuping for air and having a full-blown panic attack.

"I…can't…breathe…" She said between short breaths. Caleb reached around and opened the window to get some air in.

"Yes, you can," he rubbed her back. "Just try to do it slowly," he stayed calm. This wasn't the first time he'd done so.

* * *

_"Why are you two so miserable every time I want to do anything with the both of you together? Can't you get along?!" Hanna was upset. _

_"Hanna!" Echoed from downstairs. "Just work it out," Hanna barked. A disgruntled Hanna then marched downstairs to her mother. _

_"We have to stop this," Caleb frowned. "We have to just tell her so we can both get the weight off," He came closer to Spencer, but she flinched back and started crying the second he started talking._

_"I can't, I can't do this. I can't…I can't breathe," she gasped for air._

_"Just try breathing slower," Caleb tried to be gentle. Spencer's sobs were growing louder and Hanna would be back any minute._

_"She's…my…best…best friend," Spencer got out between hyperventilating breaths. "She won't forgive me,"_

_"She's going to forgive you _**_because _**_you're best friends," Caleb reassured her._

_"I just don't think it's a good idea to talk about it," Spencer took a deep breath and regained her ability to talk, but her face still spewing tears and turning red. Caleb stayed quiet for a long time rubbing circles across her spine, trying to calm her down before continuing._

_"Spencer, she's already annoyed she thinks we can't be in the same room together and thinks we hate one another because we're so busy tiptoeing around the truth. We have to just tell her so we can relax and actually be around one another. She's upset and we're not great and it'll all be better after we have the conversation."_

_"And say what?! Hey Han, just so you know I fucked your boyfriend before you started going out, but don't worry he didn't let anything happen after he decided to start courting you. Don't worry about it being awkward or about residual feelings because there never were any, that's why he was fucking me but ended up dating you," she said both sarcastically and hysterically, letting out too much of her own bitterness and sadness over the situation than she'd meant to._

_Caleb took a deep breath and swiped his fingers through his hair, not knowing what to do. Spencer continued to whimper, wiping her eyes and trying to calm down, now feeling embarrassed by her admissions._

_"I hurt you, didn't I?" he asked while keeping himself calml despite the knot forming in his stomach as to not end up yelling at the crying girl beside him._

_"I know you didn't mean to," she said softly. "I just wish you wouldn't've been so nice to me if you never wanted to date me. It's like a mind-game."_

_"Why wouldn't I have been nice?" He furrowed his brow._

_"Because normally guys who just want to screw me don't bother to be nice or talk even. You let me stay and everything,"_

_"Spencer, just because I wanted Hanna, it doesn't mean I don't like you or don't care about you. You're cool. You're my friend. So what, we had sex? We can still be friends. You're great, and I'm sorry guys have treated you so poorly in the past and that changed your perception of what went on between us…"_

_Spencer started crying again for different reasons this time. Someone she'd slept with had finally seen her worth for more than the sex. Even if he didn't choose her in the end._

_"I didn't mean to yell at you," she apologized. "I guess it just hurt my feelings a little bit because it felt like you just wanted to stop having meaningless sex and date someone, and you didn't even consider me good enough to date even though we'd been fooling around. I was only good for the sex part."_

_"I didn't mean to make you feel that way… I just wanted to be honest. I'd had a crush on Hanna for a long time and she finally started to pay attention. It's not that you weren't good enough, I just was into someone else. It's shitty I ever started anything with you, I know. I just didn't think it'd be serious."_

_"I know," she nodded. "You're one of the best guys I've ever met…they could make a fortune making guys like you in production. We'd bottle you and call it 'essence of good boyfriend,'"she laughed through her tears, still hiccuping a bit for air. _

_Spencer sensed an anxious look on his face. "If Hanna gets mad at one of us, it's going to be me, don't worry. She likes you too much to let you go," she tucked her hair behind her ear. She'd realized she didn't even want to date Caleb, they didn't have that spark. She just fell in love with what it felt like to be touched in a nonsexual way, to be comforted and held, and to feel worthy. She realized now she should have had that all along. It wasn't something special Caleb had, but a lack of respect the others had._

_"She's going to be fine," Caleb repeated. "We didn't do anything wrong. She's just going to be happy her best friend and her boyfriend can finally hang out in the same room without coming off like we're avoiding one another like the plague," he cracked a goofy smile. "And Spencer, I never wanted you to feel like we couldn't still be friends or hang out or not be awkward with one another just because we slept together and now we're not doing that anymore. I want us to be able to be good friends. I like being your friend," he smiled._

_"I like being your friend too," she said shyly. "I wasn't avoiding you, I just didn't think boys ever wanted to be just friends."_

_They heard Hanna coming back down the hall and Spencer wiped her tears and Caleb moved over from her a bit._

_"Are you two finally playing nice?" Hanna put her hands on her hips. "I can't take you guys' attitudes anymore,"_

_"We actually have something we wanted to tell you," Caleb looked at Spencer reassuring and back at Hanna. _

_Everything was going to be fine._

* * *

"Put your head between your knees," he encouraged, remembering it helping in the past.

"I'm not ready to let Toby in," she finally was able to let out, staring at the pinkish bathroom floor tiles.

"You don't have to." Caleb reassured. "But you have to let Aaron understand that his Dad didn't leave you guys because of him, or that having a Mommy without a Daddy isn't a bad thing. He probably just feels different than Tabby and his daycare friends,"

"How did this happen?" She started crying again. "How did I get here?"

"Spence, you're a good mom. You're the _best _mom."

"Then why do I feel so low?"

"Because you care about that boy more than you've ever cared about anything else. He's your entire world and I knew me telling you he was even a little upset was going to be hard for you. But he's fine. You saw him, playing with Tabs. I should have been paying more attention. Apparently on their show Boots had a special day and chose to see his Dad. Aaron was probably already curious and then we kept asking about his special day. I should have paid more attention and turned it off when I saw it was a Dad episode."

"It's not like we could have kept it a secret that dads exist," she whimper-laughed.

"I talked to him, but I just think you should, too. I'm not his Mommy. I'm just Uncky." He teased Aaron's pronunciation.

She nodded and wiped her face. "He really thought you were his Daddy?" She laughed a little.

"He said I could be because I love you guys, and when I tried to explain that that isn't how it works, he said that I could if I tried like the Little Engine. He's too cute and smart. I don't know how he's only turning four."

Spencer smiled and bit her lip. He was a cutie. But it also made her want to cry again because of his hope.

She took one final deep breath, definitely more sad but less hysterical now. Caleb took this as a sign to open the door but Spencer stopped him and gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for being that guy," she smiled. "A good guy. Not just with me. For being so good to Aaron he could even think you were a dad. And for him to know you love him and you love me. You take good care of us. And you don't have to, but you do."

"Who else would I play Mario with? You and Hanna suck, and Tabs gets bored after five seconds," He teased and squeezed back, kissing her hair. "You know I've got you,"

After a few seconds their moment was interrupted by little hands banging on the door.

"Mommaaaaa, Uncky Caleb!" Aaron pounded joined by Tabby banging a toy car against the door "Spencerrrrr and Calebbb, Spencer and Caleb come out and play," she chanted.

They opened the door and Aaron's whole face lit up seeing his Mommy and jumped on her so she could pick him up and give him big hugs. "I love you buddy," she pushed back his hair.

He laughed and gave her a big, wet kiss. "Mommy today I had fun and got to be Uncky Caleb's partner," he said excitedly. "I wish you was here so we could all be partners today,"

"Wow, I'll be here next time. Did you do a good job?" She said enthusiastically. Tabby had now taken to somehow getting Caleb to sit so she could put clips in his hair.

Spencer laughed looking over at them. "I did good Momma," he held on around her neck tight.

"That's my boy," she bounced him.

"Can we stay with Tabby and Caleb for a few more minutes?" He said holding up six fingers.

"You've got six minutes, mister," she put him down and sat next to Caleb, holding his hand.

* * *

Toby spent most of the day at work, and his phone had died on the job. Finally after going out for drinks after work, he got home and plugged in his phone.

After a few moments the screen lit up, _11:02 _decorating the screen.

All of a sudden his phone started blowing up with banner notifications. Six missed calls and two voicemails from Spencer. He didn't even listen to them, just called back, forgetting it was late.

She answered on the first ring. "Can you come over?"

* * *

S/O To the guest who called it being Caleb! How are you all liking the Spaleb action? More Toby to come next chapter :-)


	7. Chapter 7

_"Come over now," Spencer texted, quickly followed by a second text: "Please,"_

_When Toby got there, Spencer was sitting in her old tree house and shone a flashlight down at him, signaling him up._

_She moved over to make room for him as he climbed up. The dull light showed a nasty cut on her chin and some bruising around her cheek. _

_"What happened to you?" Toby said before settling, getting onto his knees and inching closer, his hand gently grazing over her cut. _

_"They were following me again, they pushed me down in my driveway after slipping this in my pocket," She said uncrumpling a piece of paper and showing it to him. THE LAST THING SHE EVER TASTED WAS DIRT IN HER MOUTH. GET USED TO THE TASTE, BITCH. XO, -A scrawled in blood red marker._

_"You really need to bring this to the police," Toby sighed. _

_"That'll only make it worse. They're already angry. They're convinced I did that horrible thing to Ali and they just want me to suffer for it. Once I'm out of Rosewood everything will be okay. It's only a few more weeks. It's really only the night that's the issue. During the day, there are people around, whoever this is doesn't have the nerve to hurt me in broad daylight. Night is a different story," Spencer tried to explain this to him again. He'd been with her when she'd gotten a threatening text a few days ago, and so she was somewhat forced to explain herself and the situation — and it felt good to trust someone with the secret she'd held so closely to her ever since her best friend turned up murdered. She'd been cleared by the police early in the investigation but this tormentor was sure this was solely because of her parents' reputation as Pennsylvania's best criminal attorneys. And so they took the task of punishing her unto themselves. Sometimes Spencer wondered if this person truly thought she was guilty, or was Alison's true murderer and was mad when Spencer was cleared and didn't take the blame._

_"You should at least go to the hospital, you might need stitches,"Toby was worried about her. He wondered how far this person would go to hurt her. He secretly wondered if she really did have anything to do with Alison's disappearance, or what other secrets she had, but he kept those thoughts to himself._

_"I'm fine," she sighed, leaning in to kiss him once, her hand getting lost in his shaggy hair. "Thank you for coming, I just couldn't be alone. I got scared, and no one's home tonight." She explained before kissing him again. She was all of a sudden completely wrapped around him. She let the space between them dissolve and kissed him again, harder and quicker, laying herself down on the cold floor of the tree house. She winced at the pain of his hands on her bruised hip and his scruff rubbing her fresh wound as he kissed her. She pulled away to suck in some air and regain her composure before hesitantly leaning forward once more to continue kissing him. However, her pain didn't go unnoticed by him and he stopped, placing his hands on either side of her head to hold himself up over her without pressing any weight onto her._

_"Are you okay? If you're hurt we shouldn't be doing this," he said kissing her temple and retreating to his position next to her. She sat up from her laying position and put her hands on the sides of his face._

_"I just…I need you to stay until it gets light out," she said slightly above a whisper. She had a strict no-sleeping over policy since the Caleb situation in which she went from being the smartest girl in her class to feeling like the dumbest of them all for thinking his actions meant more than his intentions. The policy didn't matter if they weren't sleeping, but instead actively hooking up. No holding, no forehead kisses, no midnight whispers about feelings._

_"All you had to do was ask," He said pulling her close to him. She swallowed hard as she settled her back against his chest and her head against his shoulder._

_"If we aren't… then there's no reason for you to stay. I mean, it's not like I'm your girlfriend. You're not supposed to stay without a reason,"_

_"Well maybe the reason is that you need somebody and I could be that person. it's okay to need another people without needing to repay them…especially with sex. You don't really think that's why I hang around do you? And to be fair I've offered to have you sleep over a dozen times, you always say no. You always run out and leave as soon as we're done and the sun's up,"_

_"Because if I stay… In the past, I've confused staying over for feelings, and I don't want to make that mistake again because it hurt me more than the cuts and bruises I've got right now hurt." She said shyly. "I just don't like being alone at night."_

_"Well…no one ever said there was anything wrong with feelings," He said shyly and quietly into her neck, interlacing their fingers. "I'll come protect you any night, just like I came when you texted tonight. You should feel safe," He felt sad for her, and his hands felt unsteady with hers inside of it. He wasn't good at sharing feelings with anyone but he felt deeply connected to her. And not just because they knew each others' secrets._

_Spencer ignored his bit about feelings because she had decided a long time ago she wasn't getting hurt again. It was humiliating and not worth it. She knew what she was good at and knew what she was good for — and none of it reached beyond her body. She had her secret nightlife for a reason — it was the only way to ensure her safety — from the dark corners of bedrooms and basements and cars parked in alleys hiding beneath men bigger and stronger than her she could ensure her tormentor couldn't get to her; her dark, often empty home and parents who didn't believe her cries for help was a different story. And that was how she began her sexual exploits._

_But that night, she had her first sleep-over since Caleb. He rubbed her thumb and kissed her temple like Caleb had, but unlike with Caleb, she didn't have to take any of there clothes off first. Unlike Caleb, she reminded herself this was not romantic. But that didn't mean her brain believed her._

* * *

"Come in," Spencer sang softly as she heard knocking at the door. She was sitting on the floor with a mostly empty bottle of wine next to her and a mostly full glass in her hand. The floor around her was piled with photo albums and there were still mascara stains running down her cheeks.

"Hey, hey what's going on?" He crouched down, knowing her vices were always alcohol and drugs and could see that through they'd refined in the years that'd passed, they hadn't really changed.

"I hate you," she said collapsing against his shoulder and heaving once more.

He instinctively rubbed her back very lightly, hesitant to touch her. "You invited me here, you remember that, right?" He said, taking the glass from her hands and setting it aside.

"Aaron…" she hiccuped, pulling away and wiping her eyes. "He's asking about his Daddy. He thinks he doesn't have one and I'm the big mean Mommy who won't let him have one…" She caught her breath. She'd sat Aaron down after bringing him home thinking it would help, but it only made it worse as he blamed her for not giving him a Daddy as if it were as simple as buying him a toy or baking him cookies or even giving him a hug. She knew he was just a toddler, but it still didn't feel good.

Toby didn't know if he should feel happy, as this might be his in, or heartbroken because Spencer was such a good mom and was trying so hard to give enough for both parents, and then some, but Aaron wasn't old enough to appreciate what she was doing or understand that if she could have given him a father from the beginning, she would have. In fact, she tried really hard. It was Toby that took that away from Aaron. And Toby definitely felt that guilt coming on heavy right now.

"Does that mean you want me to…to try this thing?" He tried no to smile.

"No…but I think it means I have to. I just want him to be happy, you know? I've always done everything I can, but this feels…" she clenched her fists. "Out of my control," this was especially hard for Spencer. She was super Type A and did not do well when things weren't in her control. Even in the hardest times of her life, the torment she endured in high school, it was in her control to an extent — she kept her safety by picking out boys to protect her, she hid her secrets from her friends; everything in it's own separate place and in it's own labeled box, perfectly adhering to her anal tendencies despite being anything but perfect or ideal.

"I want to make this easy on you," He looked her in the eyes. "I'll do whatever you ask me to do — honest. No games. I won't smoke anymore, I won't drink, I won't date, I'll come around as much as you need me to…or go away if that'll make this easier." He put his hands up in a surrender.

She studied his eyes, and even in her drunken state knew that he was being honest, truly.

"I want you to come around more…slowly. Absolutely no telling him you're his Daddy until I say it's okay — IF I ever do. And that's a BIG if." She said with her hand on his chest, still making direct eye contact. "Bond with him. And we'll see from there. As long as you don't bring him around other women and you don't interfere with my relationships or my schedule I wouldn't ask you to change anything else, but be responsible," she breathed. "You have a lot to prove. I just want so badly to be able to tell him he can have what he wants. That I'm not a villain who chased away his Daddy and he's not a bad boy who can't have it. I'm rooting…i'm rooting for you."

"If it ever comes up, I'll make sure he knows you're the best Mom. You really are, you know. He's a mature, smart, funny little boy. Well-behaved for his age, too. You did really well. You know…I'm sorry you''re going through this right now. I'm sorry you've had to go through any of this. I should have never ran away from you that day. I shouldn't have let you hang up on me without calling back. I was so scared, Spence. But not you, you're fearless."

"I've been through worse," she shrugged. "And I wasn't always fearless,"

"You have been," he nodded, interlacing their fingers as he slid his hand towards hers, "But you've been brave through it all. If I could do it again —"

"Well you can't," she said, pulling her hand away after a second.

An awkward silence lingered between them before she took her glass back, leaning across him.

"Can I look at these?" He said, motioning towards the photo books sprawled across the floor. She nodded and upon her approval he found pictures upon pictures of baby Aaron. It seemed like she took a photo every day for at least the first year of his life.

He got choked up a bit. "I'll regret not being here with you every day for the rest of my life, if it's any consolation," he swallowed back tears.

"That just makes me sadder," she admitted, this time taking the initiative to touch hands.

"Tell me more about him," He pleaded. "About what I missed,"

"Well…his birthday is May 29th, 2011. He's turning four next week. He was only four and a half pounds when he was born…11:11pm. He had really blond hair when he was born," she said pointing to a baby picture. "But it all got dark like mine as he got older," She sighed. "He hates green vegetables and he's allergic to mellon, he broke his arm when he was a year and a half because he knew how to walk up stairs, but not down them. He got stitches after a playground incident last year. He says he wants to be a computer fixer like his Uncle Caleb when he gets bigger or a fire truck driver…which often sounds like he's saying the f-word, and once he told me he wanted to be a cat when he grew up. We lived with Ashley and Ted and Tabitha for a few months after he was born and I think he's always going to subconsciously feel connected to them. My parents see him once or twice a year usually for any substantial amount of time because they hate driving up, but now that we're closer and so much time has passed since the initial anger over the pregnancy that that might change — and I don't know how I feel about that. They're all pissy because I won't go back to Rosewood, but…I can't. It makes me sick to even think about that town."

"No one should blame you for that…" he remembered how scared she got at night. She truly thought her life would end in that town. She had no regard for her well being and he vices she engaged in because she was deep down convinced she wasn't going to make it out alive anyway. "Why was he so small when he was born? Was he born early?"

"Only a week or so," she took a deep breath. "They said it could have been stress on my part, but other times it just happens. He was healthy though."

"Were you alone?" He didn't look at her. He almost didn't want to know the answer.

"Hanna and her family and Caleb were in and out. And Aria visited. Emily FaceTime'd which was more than I expected from her."

"I'm going to make this all up to you," he looked at her with big puppy dog eyes. "Both of you."

"Just don't make promises you can't keep. Because I'll hold you to it."

"I promised you once I would protect you… I'd like to be that person again."

"Well I won't stop you…" She said, leaning into him again and getting comfortable.

* * *

In the next few days, Aaron had forgotten all about his meltdown about having a Daddy for his birthday and was excited to see Toby that day and spend all day at the ballpark since he'd previously only seen such things on TV.

"I'm SO EXCITED LET'S GO LET'S GO NOW!" Aaron said as Toby met them outside by the entrance to the building with coffee for Spencer — coconut milk, no sugar, just how she'd always drank it, and a donut for Aaron.

"I'm more excited," He teased, throwing Aaron over his shoulder while waiting for Spencer to secure the car seat into his car. She hadn't realized before now that though the paint had been retouched and the stereo had been updated, this was the same car that she'd spent time with Toby in five years prior. She'd always felt special in this car.

"No me," Aaron said, stuffing half the donut in his face and getting icing everywhere.

"Did you remember to say thank you to Toby for bringing us to the ball park today?"

"No I'll tell him when we get there, duh," Aaron said sassily and Spencer raised her eyebrows as Toby tried to suppress a laugh.

"Excuse me, mister?"

"I wuv you Momma," he batted his eyelashes as his parents got into the front of the car.

"He's a real charmer, eh?" Toby laughed. "Just like his Momma I see,"

"This is your fault, I swear," she teased quietly, implying it was always Toby who was the flirt and he'd passed that on to his son.

* * *

"How come all baseballs don't have faces? Do they all have names? My baseball's name is Aaron. Does your baseball have a name?" Aaron tugged on Toby, asking his 100th or so questions of the day. Spencer laughed because while this was normal for her, she could see Toby struggling to keep up with her son's fast-paced curiosity.

"Aaron is your name, silly," She said cutting his hotdog for him, since he refused to eat it on a bun like a normal child but instead liked it cut into small pieces and he was dip it into mustard that way.

"No my name is Stinky Butt," Aaron proclaimed loudly and both his parents laughed. All morning he'd been badgering with questions and running ahead of them towards games and the bounce house.

"Stinky Butt?!" Spencer mimicked his enthusiasm. "I don't remember naming you that,"

"I'm just kidding," he said covering his mouth as he giggled and Toby looked at Spencer with a smirk.

"Are you having fun kiddo?"

"Yes," he said with his mouth full "You're way more fun than Mommy's friend John. You should be Mommy's kissing friend instead because you're cool and John is a stinky butt meany butt" Aaron said loudly and passionately, much to Spencer's dismay.

"Hey why don't I go get you a milkshake?" Spencer said hopping to her feet, trying to avoid the awkwardness of the topic.

"STRAWBERRY," He yelled standing on his chair and Toby held his sides so he wouldn't fall.

"Cool it, buddy," he said as Spencer walked away.

"I like hanging out with you, Aaron," Toby took a chance while Spencer was away to connect. "You're my new best friend,"

"I like you because you bring me stuff and make Frozen stuffs," he chomped away. "And Mommy likes you too. She has dreams about you sometimes and you do silly stuff like take her brains out but I think it makes her happy because she was smiling when she told Auntie Hanna when I was supposed to be sleeping but I was playing with my train. Did you ever go on a train? I wanna drive a train and go CHOO CHOOOOOOO," He talked a million miles a minute with food flying out of his mouth.

"Maybe one day we can go on a train together," he offered.

"Momma too?" He smiled.

"If she wants to come," Toby smiled.

Spencer came back. "What are you boys talking about?" She said handing Aaron his cup and spilling half of the second milkshake into an empty cup to share with Toby, as she only wanted a little bit.

"iT'S BOYS SECRETS MOM," Aaron yelled.

"No fair," She play-pouted.

He shrugged, "Sorry Momma."

* * *

Toby carried Aaron inside for Spencer, as he'd slept the entire ride home, exhausted from running around with his parents all day and honestly, Spencer and Toby were just as exhausted, both collapsing onto the couch after Toby put Aaron in his room.

"How do you do this every day? I want to sleep for 48 hours to recoop," He laughed.

"It's the questions," she laughed. "I don't know why they're so tiring but they definitely are."

"And the running. So much running," He put his feet up on the coffee table.

"Are you still in?" She teased. "I can't believe you thought this would be easy,"

"I didn't," He recanted. "I'm all in. I had so much fun today, really. He's crazy and awesome."

"Yeah, he is." She smiled. "I'm so in love with him. He's perfect as far as I'm concerned. I know all moms probably say that but that kid is a riot."

"He is," he laughed. "But I also had a good time with you today…" he smiled and lingered a little too close to her lips a moment too long, and both of them got lost in the moment before she finally broke the moment to stand and stretch.

"I should be getting to bed soon, early day tomorrow at the bakery," she sighed.

He nodded, kissing her on the cheek and lingering again for a moment, taking in the scent he'd sworn he'd forgotten but realistically never could and backed away. "We'll do this again, soon," he promised on his way out. "Goodnight, Spencer."

"Sweet dreams," she smirked.

"Pick your brains out," he smirked back, reciting Aaron's words back to her. "Whatever that means. Sleep well." He said teasingly on his way out, as he'd had an idea of what Aaron probably overheard and thought it was hysterical. He'd been waiting all day to use that on her.

She turned beet red, and consequently stayed up half the night tossing and turning about it. Her family day gave her a different, old dream.

* * *

"Are you still up?" Toby texted Spencer an hour later.

"Unfortunately," she yawned as she answered. She knew it was lamely early at only 10:30 on a Saturday, but she'd be dropping Aaron off at daycare at 5:30 the next morning to be at the bakery by 6.

"Fortunately for you I think i just became your hero," He smirked as he texted back. "I've got great news."


	8. Chapter 8

Spencer took a small bite of the pasta John had prepared for her and grimaced as she swallowed it down, trying to keep a smile. She felt awful, she really did. It was a beautiful meal adorned with pretty flowers and a candlelit table setting, but John had forgotten that even though Spencer was hardly considered a picky eater, the one thing she didn't eat was pork. And he'd made the pasta sauce with sausage in it. But it didn't matter, Spencer was happy this week. She was practically bouncing, begging to spill Toby's surprise to anyone who'd listen to her spew about her son — the _secret _surprise — but she knew it would be more fun to keep it a secret. It was only a few more days.

"Is something the matter?" John said with his mouth still full.

"This is great, really," she smiled. "I just don't eat sausage…or pork at all really… But I can eat around it," she quickly added as his face fell.

"So much for a perfect evening," John sighed., taking her plate from her and dumping it in the trash and aggressively dropping both plates in the sink.

"Oh come on, don't be like that," she gently rubbed his arm.

"What's funny? Why are you smirking like that?"

"Because I'm happy to be with you," she offered.

"No…it's something else." He pulled away from her touch to face her. "What are you planning? Do you need to borrow money again?" He raised a brow.

"No! No." She yelped. "Do you still want to celebrate Aaron's birthday with us this week? It's this Friday…but we're doing a little something on Saturday, too, if you're free that day maybe?" She flashed a grin. "I'd especially like it if you could be around during the day Saturday…specifically maybe from 4pm on…"

"Uh, maybe? I don't know. The kid doesn't even like me. And I might be busy."

"What do you mean might? And you can call him by his name. _Aaron_."

"_Aaron _bit me last time I was over!"

"He's got baby teeth…and he was playing." She defended, trying not to laugh. It'd been funny how John reacted as if he'd been bitten by a poisonous snake.

"Whatever," John rolled his eyes.

* * *

"Thank you for watching him tonight," Spencer smiled at the boy on the couch, crouching down next to him to rake her fingers through his hair. She still believed he could be like her baby when he was asleep and quiet like this, not her big growing boy.

"We had fun," Toby smiled. "If you don't want to move him, I could bring him down tomorrow…" he offered.

"Nice try," Spencer smirked, scooping her son up and feeling him slowly start to wake, wrapping his arms around her neck and nuzzling in hard, groaning as he fell back into a full slumber. "But I do have some good news. Saturday…you should come with us."

"Really?" He smiled big. "Wait, what happened to John?"

"You don't have to grin like an idiot about the fact he won't be there," she teased. "We didn't break up. He's uh, just busy. And if it weren't for you we wouldn't be going so you should come." She nodded. "I okay'd it with Ashley, too, so everything's good."

"Glad to hear it," he smiled. "I can't wait to see his face when you tell him…"

"We'll have to record it," she smiled and Aaron started to tangle his fingers in her hair and pull. "Alright, ouch…it's time I put this one to bed. I'll talk to you later this week," she smiled as she left.

* * *

Spencer excitedly sat on the floor next to her son's bed, goofily smiling with a bright yellow party hat on her head adorned with the number "4" in silver and black shiny print and a pink striped party horn loosely between her lips. She smiled as Aaron started to wake up and when his eyes were finally open, she blew the part horn so it blew out touching his nose before rolling back up and Spencer attacked him with kisses as he giggled. "Happy birthday baby!" She kissed him everywhere.

"Stop stop stop stop," he giggled, putting his hand up in a 'stop' signal. "You're gonna make me not breathe!" He laughed harder, barely able to catch his breathe. "Mommy you're silly willy," he said sitting up.

Spencer responded by blowing the horn again, and then offering one to him and he blew it in her face and laughed.

"How old are you today mister?" She sat on his bed and pulled him onto her lap.

He held up four fingers and smiled.

"And how many is that?" She smiled.

"FOUR!" He yelled.

"How did you get so big? And so smart?" She smiled.

"Idk, I eated all my vegetables 'cept for spinaches and broccolis" he stuck out his tongue. "And I drink my milk to make muscles,"he smiled, flexing his muscles for her.

She felt his little bicep and theatrically reacted as if she'd groped Gaston. "You're soooo strong!" She gasped. "What are we gonna do when you're big and strong and Mommy can't hold you anymore? Are you gonna hold me?"

"No you can just get stronger, duh," he shrugged.

"But what if I get tired?" She furrowed her brow.

"Maybe Uncky Caleb or…or TOBY can hold you… Toby is big and strong and so is Caleb but Toby is the biggest."

Spencer's cheeks flushed slightly. "Well we won't have a problem because you're gonna stay four, right? No more getting bigger? Promise Momma?"

"I do NOT." He rose to his feet. "I'm gonna get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger bigger than the whole house!" He raised his arms.

"Wow, that's really big," Spencer acted impressed. "Well I guess I better hold you lots while I still can," she said scooping him up and holding him and brought him inside.

"Presents on my day?" Aaron smiled deviously.

"Later when we have cake…but you can open one now. And then we're going somewhere special." She smiled.

"YAY!" He smiled and waited patiently while Spencer brought out a big box.

"What is it Mommy?" His eyes lit up at the size of the box almost as big as him.

"You have to open it," she smiled, getting her phone ready to take a video. "What's in there bud?" She smiled as he struggled to remove the lid to the gift box and a puppy jumped up towards him, barking excitedly.

Aaron fell backwards as the dog licked his face and yelped; Aaron giggling all the while on the floor. "Is this MY DOG?!" Aaron yelled "FOREVER?!"

Spencer smiled at the little labradoodle jumping excitedly over her son and how he instinctively gave the dog hugs and let it give kisses. The puppy was rescued from the shelter, so even though it was young had been somewhat trained and was used to a lot of kids sticking their hands in his face.

"Yours forever!" She smiled. "You're a big boy now so you get to have your own dog." She crouched down and started to scratch the dogs head. "What do you want to name him?"

"AARON!" He yelled, smiling.

"I think that would be confusing with your name being Aaron, too. Don't you think."

"How about….Pickles?!" He jumped.

"Pickles?!" She laughed. "Are you sure?"

"POSITIVELY," he smiled.

"Pickles it is!" She laughed.

"Can Pickles come with us where we are going?"

"Yes he can!" She smiled and came back with a red leash for the golden pup and attached it. "You get to walk him," she kissed his head. "Do you like your puppy?"

"I love puppy thank you Mommy," he smiled.

"Kisses?" She pointed to her cheek and he gave her a wet mark on her face.

When they opened the door, a bright orange bike with training wheels and flames painted on it was in their way with a big, blue bow on the handlebars.

"THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!" He excitedly grabbed the bike, letting go of Pickles' leash and Spencer quickly picked it up.

"You better hold on to Pickles, babe." She grabbed the card attached and sucked in her lower lip. It was from Toby.

She pulled the bow off the bike and let him ride it to the elevator, snapping the black, flamed helmet on his head as she tried to keep up with him and the pup. "Where are we going Mommy?"

"We're going out, but we have a pit stop to make first." She said pushing the 5 on the elevator.

* * *

"Open your door," Spencer smiled into the phone, holding Aaron back on his bike at the end of the hallway.

"What?" Toby rubbed his eyes, sleepily heading towards the door. He hoped she wasn't mad at him for buying Aaron such a big gift. And a potentially dangerous one in the eyes of overprotective moms. He didn't know what to expect.

What he didn't expect, however, was what happened. "Just do it, loser," Spencer bellowed.

"That's a BAD WORD!" Aaron yelled.

When the door opened, Spencer laughed and pushed Aaron towards it. "Go, go, go," She laughed as Aaron went full-speed almost knocking Toby over, Spencer herself practically running to keep up with Pickles, who was chasing Aaron's bike.

"Woah, slow down buddy, you almost ran me over,"

"VRoooooom vrOOOOOMMMMM." He yelled and squeezed the little horn on the bike.

"Woah, whose this?" Toby bent down to pet the dog jumping up to lick his face.

"I GOT A PUPPY AND A BIKE IT'S THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVERRRRRRRR" Aaron yelled/practically sang.

"Wow you must have been really good," he smiled.

"Aaron why don't you tell Toby what your puppy's name is,"

"PICKLES," He laughed. "I named him," he said proudly.

"You did?" Toby acted surprised. "That's awesome."

"And you better say thank you to Toby," Spencer smiled, giving him the credit he was tiptoeing around taking. "Toby got you that bike,"

"YOU'RE SO COOL," Aaron yelled and jumped up to cling to Toby's neck, his legs around his chest. He blew a raspberry on Toby's face and he laughed as he wiped the slobber, moving the helmeted boy up to his shoulders causing him to erupt in laughter and the puppy to jump even higher.

"Go put clothes on," she said of the pajama'd man. "You have 10 minutes if you want to come with us,"

"Where?"

"IT'S A SPECIAL SURPRISE," Aaron smiled. He only had one volume today, and it was ear-piercingly loud, but everyone was so happy and enthused with his excitement they didn't seem to care.

* * *

That morning, they had breakfast in the park with Caleb and Hanna, who had taken Aaron with them after departing the park to bring him to Toys R Us to pick out his own gift, which he was very excited about, but less excited about leaving Pickles and his new bike.

After having survived Caleb's endless death glares and Hanna's snarkiness, Toby carried the bike and Spencer unlocked the door and brought the dog in, pouring food into his bowl she'd set up by the sink and smiled.

"Sorry about them...they'll get used to you soon, I hope. They're just kind of like my watchdogs, Hanna and Caleb." Spencer laughed.

"I can't say I wasn't a little anxious," Toby laughed. "But I get it. It's nice you have friends like that," he smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets and caught his breath from carrying the bike up the stairs since the elevator was full and he didnt feel like waiting for the next one. "Thanks for bringing that up," she smiled, and went on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek, catching him off guard. "And thank you for thinking of him today and getting him such a nice gift."

"He's my…" he stopped. "It was my pleasure."

"I know he's your…" she teased at his fear of saying 'son' out loud. "I was there for the impregnation and the birth and everything, remember," she laughed, but then bit her lip, because he wasn't there for it and she hadn't meant to make him feel bad this time.

She shuffled and poured two cups of coffee, handing one over and sitting down.

"Can you believe that was…five years ago, almost, that we made that little guy, I can't believe how big he's getting." She changed gears. It really was an emotional day for her, but in an exciting kind of way.

"Does it feel like the four years went fast?" Toby said taking a sip, the blow still burning.

"Yes and no," she answered honestly. "I was so scared…that i remember. It feels silly now. I was scared to actually give birth to him…scared to hold him for the first time, afraid I might break him for the first month I think. But that was the easy part…now I'm afraid of leaving him at school, or if he'll run in the middle of the street…I have less control the older he gets. Baby stuff…it was a piece of cake."

"But he's a good boy and you're an amazing mom, so he'll be okay,"

She put her hand on top of his and smiled. "I know…he's a good boy. You'll be a good dad someday…even if it never really is to Aaron. You'll make some lady very lucky one day," she smirked.

"Nah…" he blushed a little. "I hope to be a good dad to Aaron one day…but that's probably all I'll ever be. No lucky ladies."

"Lucky dude? I don't judge…i'm sure at least one of the guys I saw in high school is gay now…statistically anyway," she smirked, teasing him.

He raised a brow and nudged her. "Shut up, that isn't what I meant. I don't know, I just…I'm not interested. I'm too selfish to try and share my life with anybody else."

"Well that's a shame I guess. I don't think you're selfish."

He laughed sarcastically. "Yeah, right."

"You're not…the guy you think you still are."

"I—" Toby stopped as Aaron barged in the door holding a big toy rocket ship making blast off noises as Caleb and Hanna stood in the doorway. "We'll see you tonight," Hanna smiled. "Be good, lovey," she blew a kiss at Aaron.

"FOR CAKE," Caleb's eyes lit up and Aaron started yelling excitedly and threw himself on the floor next to Pickles, talking to him about his rocket ship.

"Best friends already," she smiled, waving at Hanna and Caleb and locking the door behind them. "You should come later…we're having cake and I've got a few more presents for him, and Tabby and Ashley and Ted…Hanna's mom and step-dad are coming over. John, too. It'll be fun."

"I'm not sure…" He said hesitantly.

"Is this because John's coming because if it is…"

"I just have to work tonight," he said honestly. He was less irked by John and more worried about the fact that Ashley and Ted housed Spencer while she was pregnant and became more of a family to her than her own parents…and therefore probably were as protective as you'd expect a girls' parents to be when you knocked her up at 18. He'd managed to never get the brunt of that and he'd like to keep it that way. But regardless of his worries, he really did have to work.

"Aaron's going to be bummed," she scrunched her nose.

"Yeah, but there's tomorrow." He smiled, reminding her of the surprise.

She grinned uncontrollably. "Like i could forget," she smiled.

* * *

"Haaaaaappy birthdaaaaay to youuuuuu," they finished singing and Aaron smiled excitedly and blew out his candles.

"Now presents?" He smiled.

"Now presents," Spencer allowed and he opened a few books and workbooks, a big barrel of plastic dinosaurs, a set of toy cars and trucks, a viewfinder with all outer space discs, legos, play-doh, a toy tool set and John even brought a toy train (which was near identical to one he owned by Spencer kept her mouth shut because he was trying and that was all that mattered).

"What do you say to everybody?"

"THANK YOU," Aaron yelled.

"Give hugs," Spencer instructed as she started to cut the cake. Aaron was, for once,playing nice with John and giving hugs when Spencer went to answer the door and Toby stood there, a package of cupcakes in hand. "Am I too late for the party?" He smiled.

"TOBYYYYY," He jumped down from John's arms and ran over, pulling Toby's hand. "Look I got tools now I can help you fix Momma's stuffs," he said giddily showing him the toys.

John pulled Spencer aside. "I thought you said HE wasn't coming," he gritted through his teeth.

"He's his _father," _she defended. "Whether you like it or not…Hell, whether _I _like it or not. He's trying and that's all that counts right now. So yes, HE's here. And I expect you to be a perfect gentleman about it." She kissed his cheek before returning to the table, handing out cake to the kids first and then to the rest, instructing the kids every few minutes not to feed Pickles any cake.

After only a little while, Toby got up to excuse himself, helping to clean up the best he could.

"You don't have to go yet,"

"I have to head back to work. I just had a break and wanted to say hi, and bring the cupcakes over." He shrugged. "I'll see you tomorrow," his eyes lit up and he kissed her cheek before leaving.

After the kids had tired themselves out, Ted carried out a half-asleep, mumbling Tabitha. "We'll be in the car," he said to Ashley, who was cleaning up everything for Spencer, following Hanna and Caleb out.

"I've got it, please don't clean up. You're a guest here," Spencer smiled.

"Oh hush, you should enjoy your son's day," she looked over at the boy half asleep with blocks in his fists, leaning up against his new best friend Pickles, blocks lined up on the dog's back.

"I think he had a good birthday,"

"I know so," Ashley smiled. "Honey…" she stiffened. "I just, I think it's great that that boy…Toby…that he came. But I know it isn't easy to have a man you can't trust father your child. Just…be careful. It's a slippery slope and it's very easy to fall down and break something."

"I'm fine…he's actually, not so bad."

"Whatever you do, just be careful," she warned again before kissing her and Aaron goodbye and leaving to rejoin her family downstairs.

"That was funny," John said, plopping down on the couch.

"What was funny?" Spencer furrowed her brow, picking up the last of the coffee cups to put in the sink.

"Toby, when he left, he said he'd see you tomorrow?"

"Well he will," she said, putting her hands in her back pockets. "Him and I are taking Aaron and Tabby out. Kind of like a birthday part two kind of deal," She said licking a bit of blue frosting from the side of her hand.

"I don't like this…the way he looks at you…you've got a sexual history with the guy he probably thinks about jumping your bones every time he sees you."

"It's not like that…that was a whole lifetime ago. And even if it was his intention, don't you trust me?"

"I do, but I don't—"

"Don't you trust me?" She repeated, stepping closer and grabbing him by the collar.

"Mostly, but with your—"

She exhaled loudly and opened the front door. "Goodnight, John."

"But I thought I could—"

"I believe you told me you had work tomorrow…It could have been you tomorrow," she shrugged. "I think you should go." She said in a rushed, annoyed, firm tone.


	9. Chapter 9

"Momma…Momma" Aaron said as he pulled back Spencer's eyelid as she slept, his face a mere three inches from her own.

She grabbed him at the wrist and pulled his hand from her eye, moving over in bed and pulling him up over the side. She reached blindly for her glasses on her nightstand and saw the glowing red numbers on her clock— 5:42AM.

"What in the world are you doing up mister?" She nudged his nose with her own, her voice hushed in a raspy whisper of morning.

"The sun is up so it's tomorrow," he explained loudly in her face as she put a finger to his lips and shushed him.

"Inside voice," she reminded sweetly.

"It's time for my surprise now," he smiled a big toothy grin.

"Not until Mommy gets out of bed, and we have breakfast, and we go get Tabitha." She explained. "You've got a few more hours, buddy."

"Can I go watch TV with Pickles?" He pleaded.

"Nooo, snuggle with Momma," she said pulling him close as he wiggled away.

"No more sleeping," he said adamantly as Pickles jumped up onto the bed.

"See, Pickles wants to cuddle with Momma," she laughed as the dog licked her face and she rubbed his head. "We can watch TV on the tablet if you keep the volume quiet," she negotiated. "And let Momma hold you."

"Deal," he grinned and grabbed the tablet from her nightstand, expertly navigating through the menus to find _Curious George_ on Netflix.

Spencer fell back asleep for about five minutes cuddling with her baby boy and her new cuddly little one when Aaron started yelling at Pickles for farting on him and started crying.

"Alright, I'm up." She said rubbing her eyes. Ah, motherhood.

* * *

"Toby! Toby! Toby! Toby!" Aaron chanted upon seeing Toby waiting outside for them in the car. "You is coming to the surprise?"

"Yes sir," Toby smiled, swinging his keys around his finger.

"YAY!" He got excited. "We are going to go get Tabby now?"

"Yep, as soon as you get in and buckle up," he smiled as Spencer made her way around his car and put in his carseat and secured him in, joining Toby in the front seat.

As Toby turned the key in the ignition, the engine sputtered and fizzled out.

"Ah, shit," he mumbled under his breath, turning the ignition again hoping for the engine to turn over and getting out of the car to check under the hood.

* * *

_"Dad, I need to borrow your car. Like, now." Toby said frantically._

_"You moved out," Mr. Cavanaugh reminded. "You don't get to barge in here like that._

_"My car won't start, and a jump didn't help so it's the engine and repairs will take a while…this is an emergency… C'mon, you know I wouldn't be here if I didn't REALLY need it…and you have the van if you really need to go anywhere while I use the car… It's crucial I get somewhere,"_

_"You should have thought of that before you left home. No one forced you,"_

_"She did," he glared behind his father at his step-mother. As Mr. Cavanaugh grimaced at his son's disrespect towards his wife, Toby refocused his attention on his father. "I'll have it back tonight, I promise. No funny business." He was speaking in a rushed tone, unable to stop from fidgeting in every which way._

_"I'm not giving you my car without you telling me what you're acting like a lunatic about…just go down to Pep Boys and get the car looked at, you'll have it back in a day or two. Whatever it is can wait."_

_"No, it can't. It's life and death, Dad!" he yelled._

_"Life and death?" he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back onto the kitchen island. "Well now I'm curious."_

_"Dad, it's, just — UGH!" He grunted in frustration, raking his fingers through his hair and turning away before deciding he needed to just come clean. "I got a girl pregnant, and I kinda walked out… and she went back to school a few days ago, and I need to go make sure everything's okay. I don't want her to not have it because of me or something… I don't wanna be a deadbeat dad, either."_

_Mr. Cavanaugh sighed, "What did you do, Toby?!" He slammed his fist into the countertop. "Couldn't you be God-damn careful?! Who is this girl? Oh no, this isn't the girl you were driving around with all summer — the Hastings girl?"_

_"Spencer," he nodded. "I care about her. I need to go, I need to go tell her… She needs to know she isn't alone."_

_"You know her family is going to kill you… That Veronica is ferocious. You don't need a mess with that family, I'll tell you that. They'll sooner bury you than lose."_

_"So can I just have the keys?" He said impatiently._

_"No." He said calmly._

_"Why not?! I told you what this is about! This is my child we're talking about, and the mother of my child. I'm going to give her Mom's ring… not like an engagement or anything, but like, a, hey, we can be a family…I need to talk to her and apologize before anything else. She butt-dialed me yesterday and I can't help but think that that's a sign."_

_"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. You will not do any of that. Toby, do you realize who you're dealing with? Spencer Hastings? You really think you can do this with her? Trust me, there's nothing you can give her that her family can't. She's going to have enough on her plate with a baby, if she even has it. Do you really think she needs your trouble on top of it? And how do you expect to finance any of this and support them? Are you going to sell drugs again and end up leaving them for jail? No, Toby. You aren't going. The best thing you could do for that girl and that baby is stay far, far away."_

_"But —" he cut himself off, taking in his father's words. _

_"You've got nothing to offer them. Leave well enough alone. She'll be okay. Just hope she doesn't have that baby. God only knows what problems it'll have with all those drugs in your system. It'll probably have an extra eye or something mutant-like."_

_"But I want to make sure she's okay… I care about her."_

_"If you really care about her, you'll save her the trouble of dealing with you for the next 18 years. And for God's sake wear a condom from now on you ass," he said hitting him on the back of his head. "I'm doing you a favor by not allowing you to go bother her. You've done enough."_

_He's probably right, she doesn't need me, Toby thought. She probably already got rid of it, anyway. Why would she want a reminder of her poor decision making in screwing me all of August?_

_"I don't know what I was thinking…" He laughed it off nervously, wanting so badly to see her and talk to her again, but his brain convinced he needed to be done with her — for her sake._

* * *

"Forget it, we can take my car," Spencer said hopping out and undoing Aaron's buckles.

"Sorry," he mumbled, walking over to her car.

"It's okay," she shrugged. "Come on, let's go get Tabs," she smiled at Aaron and buckled him into her car and got into the driver's seat, waiting for Toby to get in the passenger's seat. When she turned the car on, a Disney sing-a-long tape came on immediately and Aaron started scream-singing the Winnie-the-Pooh theme song. The two adults exchanged looks and just smiled.

* * *

"Don't you look pretty," Spencer smiled as she pulled up in front of Ashley and Ted's to find Tabby playing in the front yard in a dress resembling Elsa's "Let it Go" costume with Elsa's face in a brooch on the front.

"Aaron who is she dressed like?" Spencer quizzed as Toby leaned back against the hood of the car, keeping a safe distance to let the interaction stay organic. After all, Tabby barely knew him and he didn't want to offset the day in any way.

"ELSA!" He yelled and threw his arms around her and they hugged. "You look BEAUTIFUL" he flashed a flirty smile at his friend and Toby raised an eyebrow. His son was _smooth._

Spencer got the car seat from Ted and buckled Tabby in, and the two toddlers held hands as they sang along to the CD together.

"Where are we going, Spencer?" Tabby spoke up.

"You'll see," she smiled as she took the exit onto the parkway, checking out the kids in the rearview mirror.

"Fine," she crossed her arms and huffed and puffed.

When they pulled into the parking lot, Spencer turned around and Toby took a video on his phone as the two kids practically jumped from their carseats and started to shriek. "FROZENNNNNNNNNNNN!" They yelled in unison. At the Family Day Toby had taken Spencer and Aaron to, there had been a raffle for a family pack of four tickets to _Frozen on Ice _and Toby had won the drawing. It was pretty clear that this was the best thing that could have happened to the kids.

When Spencer unloaded the children from the car, they immediately latched hands with each other and started to gush about how excited they were — there were television commercials for the event on all the time so they were very familiar with the show.

"They have little crushes on each other," Spencer explained as she let them walk a few feet ahead since they were on the sidewalk. "Tabby claimed him as her boyfriend a few days ago at daycare when another girl asked him to share crayons." She giggled.

Aaron turned around to look at the adults and lifted his hand in Tabby's. "Hold Momma's hand," he encouraged Toby. "Like this."

Spencer made a face but Toby did it just to appease the little birthday prince. They walked loosely connected as they went through the security check and made their way up to their seats.

When they sat down, Spencer leaned over the kids to make sure they had their sippy cups in their cup holders and were set up with their snacks. "I wanna sit next to Toby!" Aaron exclaimed and Spencer exhaled before motioning for Toby to get up so they could switch.

Meanwhile, Aaron shared his Teddy Grahams in a trade for Tabby's pretzels and Tabby gave him a sloppy kiss.

Aaron theatrically cleared his throat and locked eyes with Toby.

"Yes?" He laughed at the over-the-top action.

"You have to be romansick like me and Tabby," he explained. Spencer was on her phone texting Ashley to let her know they'd made it there safely when she felt Toby lean over towards her and whisper nervously but giddily.

"I think we're supposed to kiss," he laughed a little, looking back at the kids.

"Like this Mama," Aaron grinned kissing Tabby's face and wiping drool from his face with his hoodie.

"It's romansick," Tabby joined in. "Pweeeease,"

Spencer sighed, they were being cute, she had to admit. She leaned over and gave Toby a kiss on the cheek, slowly settling back into her seat.

"Nooooo, you did it wrong Spencer,"

"Yeah, Momma," Aaron grumbled.

"Well—" Spencer stopped at the light peck of Toby's lips on her own, taking her by surprise.

"Better, guys?" Toby shrugged as Spencer gave him intense side-eye.

Aaron nodded excitedly and Tabby gave a thumbs up and they quickly got distracted by a video advertisement on the big screen above the rink.

"That kid is nothing but trouble," Spencer blushed, smiling a little as she chewed her bottom lip, which was still tingling from the lightness of his kiss which had left her wanting more.

Soon, the lights went out and the show started. There was lots of oohs and ahhs coming from the kids, which kept Spencer sitting with a smile plastered on her face.

Toby was nudging her elbow and motioning over to the kids halfway through. Aaron was covering Tabby's eyes because the monster snowman had come out onto the ice.

"He's pulling out all the stops," Toby teased.

"Puppy love," Spencer smiled and lingered on him for a second.

* * *

"Mommy can we PLEASE go out for ice cream now," He pleaded. "With Tabby…and Toby" he added quickly.

"Oh please, Spencer!" Tabby jumped up and down.

"Oh c'mon…please please please!" Toby joined in teasingly.

Spencer laughed. "Fine, fine, fine, no more begging!" She said getting in the front, letting Toby buckle them in.

Aaron got strawberry and Tabby got chocolate and they shared, a mess of pink and brown coating their hands and chins.

"Toby, you share too," Aaron reminded and Toby held his spoonful of peanut butter to Spencer's lips. "If I remember correctly you really like peanut butter," He smiled as she hesitantly let him feed her.

"And you should also remember that I don't share ice cream," she teased as she took her own spoon to his cup, taking another spoonful to her mouth and sucking it off the spoon while laughing.

Aaron and Tabby ran around the ice cream store after finishing and Spencer caught them, wiping both of their faces down and rallying them to the car, where they both fell asleep on the way to Spencer's apartment. Spencer carried up Aaron, and Toby carried up Tabby.

"Do you want coffee?" Spencer asked, setting the coffee pot to brew.

"Sure," He sat down. "Thanks for letting me come today. I think they had fun,"

"Me too," Spencer smiled as she took out two mugs from her cupboard.

"They're such a cute couple," Toby added in. "Funny how they wanted us to be just like them,"

"Yeah, funny," Spencer raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure you didn't plant that idea in their heads…"

"I didn't!" He yelled.

"Mhmmm," Spencer said sarcastically, not believing him. "You loved every minute of it,"

"I think you did, too," He smirked.

"_I _have a boyfriend, thank you very much."

"Yeah, yeah. How's that working out?" Toby said coldly.

Before Spencer could answer, Aaron came from his room rubbing his eyes. Spencer was relieved to have been saved from the conversation that had started, as she was feeling her cheeks involuntarily flush.

"What's up, baby?" She said crouching down.

"Water," he pouted.

"Just you or Tabby too?"

"Tabby is sleeping," he said as Spencer went to the fridge to get the pitcher to fill his cup.

"Toby are you gonna have a sleepover with us? You and Momma and me and Tabby?" He grinned.

"No, bud, I'm goin home soon."

"But you live in this building too," he shrugged. "So you are already home," he reasoned.

"What are you fussing about? Are you bothering Toby and making trouble?" Spencer asked as she handed over his filled sippy cup and watched him immediately take it to his lips, nearly chugging it all.

"Slow down there," she ruffled his hair.

"I want you to have a sleepover with Toby," Aaron smiled.

"Toby has to go home," Spencer reasoned.

"But that meanie John guy has sleepovers with you Momma, and he doesn't even bring me Olafs!" He said enthusiastically.

Spencer immediately turned fire-engine red.

"Maybe I'll stay, but go finish your nap with Tabby first," Toby tried to fix it and Aaron skipped back to his room yawning.

"It's not how it sounds…" Spencer defended herself.

"It's not a big deal...you are allowed to have a boyfriend and do what you want with him." Toby practically threw up in his mouth as he spoke, remembering the morning he ran into John in the elevator bank leaving Spencer's apartment and the images of her body entangled with that prick's.

"I know... But I'm a mom and I can't introduce Aaron to just anyone. We've fallen asleep watching TV a time or two but we don't... I mean, we haven't..." She was flustered. "Not that I owe an explanation… I'm a grown up. And I'm sure you bring home girls all the time."

"Well that's where you'd be wrong…haven't had a girlfriend in a very long time," he smirked, which he realized made him seem like he was remembering a string of one night stands in lieu of a girlfriend, but in reality he was enthralled with her admission that she hadn't fucked John. He hoped she never would. He wished he wasn't so jealous, but around her he couldn't control himself.

"Stop that…" she blushed again.

"Stop what?" he asked innocently.

"You know what," she made a face. "That smirk can't mean anything good. You're forgetting you haven't changed much…"

"I'm not smirking." He said as the smirk turned into a toothy grin.

"Whatever you say…you don't have to stay, by the way. Aaron's just being a birthday diva." She laughed as she sipped from her mug and handed his over.

"I don't have anything else to do," he shrugged and added sugar to his coffee.

"The way Aaron latches…do you think, I don't know, is it crazy to think he senses it somehow. You know, who you are?"

"Yeah, you're crazy," he smiled and Spencer pushed him teasingly. "I don't know, honestly." he answered for real.

"He usually isn't so quick to be so open with others. He's kind of shy believe it or not."

"Well, I'm glad he likes me..but I'm sure he just likes me because I make Olafs and bring him toys and act like a huge kid," he shrugged.

"That's probably part of it, but I don't know, it seems special." She was at a loss for words.

He couldn't help but grin at that and moved to join her on the couch. It wasn't until they hit the soft cushions that they realized how spent they were from the day with the kids, even despite their coffees. As they got comfortable and their eyes became heavy, they started to talk about John's flaws, which Toby loved, and his admission to having not speaking to his father in almost five years, and found comfort in her similar admission. Though nothing was in great detail, their inhibitions were down and they felt a familiar comfort in just talking around each other, not necessarily seeking a real answer or even conversation. Just an ear to hear out what the other was internalizing.

Before they knew it, they had fallen asleep and were consequently being woken up by two little people climbing on them.

"Look, he has a hard tummy with no hair on it, my Daddy has a pokey, big belly with hair on it," Tabby made a face as she poked at Toby's exposed stomach where his shirt had ridden up.

"Gross," Aaron laughed, lifting his own shirt to inspect his belly.

Spencer was stirred by this and uncrumpled herself from her wedged position between the back of the couch and Toby. She kissed Aaron, "you sillies," she laughed.

"Mom, gross," he wiped his face. "Not in front of my wife."

"I missed the wedding?!" She played surprised.

"Yup, we cantelloped," Tabby piped in and Aaron grinned.

"Let me guess… in Arendelle?"

"Yup!" They both sang and Spencer smiled.

"We're hungry," Aaron whined.

"Why don't you guys wake up Toby while Mommy goes and changes her clothes and washes her face? We can go to the Chinese place." She suggested, stalking over to the bathroom sleepily.

While she was in the bathroom splashing cool water on herself to calm herself down, as being pressed up against Toby in that way had made her — uh, feel some _things, _and reinstated her elevator dreams, she heard Toby scream as the kids jumped on him.

She laughed as she came out to see him jump up and the kids doubled over in laughter on the couch.

"Do you want to come to dinner with us?" She offered.

"Wouldn't miss it," he said pulling on his sneakers and flashed her his trouble-making smile.

She didn't know what he had up his sleeve, but she knew she was in too deep.


	10. Chapter 10

_Everywhere Toby turned, he seemed to be surrounded by babies. Fat babies, tiny preemie babies, babies with a mess of hair, and near toddlers with still-bald heads. He felt like he was in a constant trance, the reality just messing with his psyche — after all, how many babies could there really be in Rosewood? Were they all just a figment of his imagination?_

_Apparently, they weren't — and there were a lot. Toby turned beet red as he realized he had been zoning out staring at a baby with the biggest brown eyes he'd ever seen on a face so small, which had left him wondering if his own child would have eyes that matched, given Spencer's rounded out features. He even momentarily tried to do the math, wondering if his own child could have been born yet if Spencer had carried to term, which he was still trying to convince himself wasn't the case, because otherwise he was a shit dad and had created a human that might be like him — which would be worse than the abandonment itself, even if that would honestly be for the better for everyone involved if he stayed away. _

_His eyes reverted from the baby, who he now realized was being nursed by her mother, and that his stares seemed now even more inappropriate._

_"__I'm sorry," he mumbled, flustered by the woman's glare. "I wasn't staring at — I mean, I was, but not because you're — my girl—there's a girl having my baby, and I think she's due kinda soon," he explained. "Your daughter just kind of looks like her, that's all," he shoved his hands in his pockets as he stuttered, suddenly wondering why he decided it would be a good idea to talk to this woman instead of letting it be, because he felt like he was digging himself in a hole now and revealing his whole life story to a stranger on a bench in the park. He then realized they were surrounded by Ali's memorial. He could almost hear Alison laughing at him, at his thoughts, and the thought of him and Spencer together and the trail of kisses bringing their bodies together, because none of it made sense. It was only fitting that she'd figuratively be here for arguably one of his lower moments to judge him the way he was already judging himself._

_"__You're just a child yourself," the woman looked at him sympathetically, a Southern twang unexpectedly erupting from her lips; she must have been from out of town. Suddenly that made him feel a little safer._

_"__I'm 20," he explained. "But I'd be a shit father anyway, so I'm keeping my distance. I just keep seeing babies everywhere, you know? It's like the universe is trying to make me feel bad….and your baby's been the first one to look like kind of what I imagine my child might look like."_

_"__Do you want to hold her?" The woman pursed her lips as she spoke hesitantly, readjusting her clothing and moving her baby over her shoulder to give her her post-feeding burping._

_"__I shouldn't," he put his hands up. "I might hurt her."_

_The woman's face seemed to melt then. He wasn't the typical walk-out father. He was just petrified. She thought maybe if she showed him that it didn't have to be scary, he would go back to his girlfriend and help her raise their child. She had a feeling he probably still loved her, too, and this would do everyone some good and save everyone from a little heartbreak._

_She all of a sudden was shoving the baby girl into his arms and stepped back from the bench to make room for him to sit. The baby babbled a bit, clawing the big buttons on his denim jacket. Needless to say, he looked petrified._

_When Toby looked down at those big, brown eyes full of future hope and possibility, looking at him like he wasn't a former drug dealing criminal, chain-smoking, marajuana loving, anti-family deviant, but like someone she was trusting enough to literally let him hold her life in his hands without pitching a fit. She simply didn't know better. And instead of putting his mind at ease, it made his fears worse: his child would think he was better than he could be, and would just cause anguish and disappointment and anger when it was realized he would never be that good ol' family man, and worse, when his child realized that they were partly made of the same things that made him._

_"__Thank you…she's such a good baby," he smiled, still feeling like not letting go of that hopefulness just yet. He was feeling selfish. But he also felt like he needed Spencer more than ever, just to talk this out with her. "I have to go," he handed the girl back over, dialing Spencer as soon as he got to his car, not caring that this conversation was an awful one to have over the phone. _

_When the ringing stopped, he felt his heart beating in his throat, jackhammering away at his insides as fast as could be. But the voice on the end wasn't so happy to hear from him. In fact, it didn't sound familiar at all._

* * *

Spencer came out of her room in a flow, elegant one-piece jumpsuit, a sleek black with black overlaid lace. She pulled her cascading curls from her neck and turned around, holding a white and rose gold statement necklace closed. "Can you please help me?" She turned over her shoulder to look at Toby.

"Uh, oh, uh, yeah" he jumped to his feet, suddenly tongue tied by how grown-up and sophisticated and elegant she looked all done up — something he didn't really ever see in the day to day routine of her baking and mom-ing, and his breath hitched in his throat a second time in a row when she turned around all the way and it was realized that the entire center of the back of the outfit, from where the pants part sat just below her waist all the way up to the nape of her neck, where a small button connected both sides of the top, was cut out exposing bare skin, obvious knowledge that she wasn't wearing a bra, and peeking out of the tattoo he'd remembered she'd had on her side under her breast of lyrics he couldn't quite remember, and another on her back that he'd never seen.

"What, is it too much?" Spencer turned back to face him as she felt the necklace secure shut around her neck, and slipped into her heels. flattening the fabric over her stomach.

"No, uh, you look great." He was flushed. "I've never seen you like this, that's all."

"You look BEAUTIFUL, MOMMY" Aaron climbed to a standing positing on the couch, leaning on Toby's shoulder and grabbing at his mom's arm, attracted to the shiny bracelet and necklace and wanting to touch them.

"Ah ah ah — be careful," Spencer said and sat down on the edge of the couch as she secure her earrings, letting Aaron play gently with her bracelet and turned her arm outward so the translucent skin of her inner arm flashed outwards, along with some more ink. He traced along the "A" on her inner arm and smiled "A for Aaron!" he yelled as he walked across the couch. He loved finding the little hidden letter since he'd learned his alphabet and his Mommy told him all about how it was special just for him.

"I love Momma's pictures," he grinned, his hand now on her back, tracing over a balloon etched in the center of her back, the words "Up we go," in a flowing script font making up the string attached to it.

"Do you have any pictures?" Aaron waddled over to Toby.

"Just one," he said as he stood and lifted his shirt to expose the tattoo on his side.

Aaron glazed over the words "Free at Last" on his hip before moving on. "You should have an 'A' for Aaron" he smirked. "Auntie Hanna has an A for Aaron like Mommy and a T for Tabby," and Uncle Caleb has lots of them all over" he furiously rubbed his arms and legs to demonstrate where Caleb had tattoos — he'd had a friend who was an apprentice at a tattoo parlor and let him practice on him, leaving him with tribal designs and skulls and dragons and American-traditional style roses covering various parts of skin, mostly on his legs where they didn't see the outside much.

Spencer laughed a little and bit her lip, she was proud of her little 'A' tattoo and loved that Aaron was old enough to understand it, now. She'd gotten it when he was very little, barely lifting his own head. He'd meant the world to her from Day 1.

"I'll think about it," Toby ruffled the boy's hair and held out his hands so he wouldn't fall off the couch as he walked across the cushions between his parents.

"When are my pictures gonna come up?" he said examining his arms and lifting up his shirt, as if he was checking for ink.

"What, buddy?" Spencer smiled. "You don't have any tattoos yet, silly," she pulled his shirt down, tickling his tummy a bit as she did.

"Are pictures called tattoos on your skin?" he patted at her arm again.

"Yes, baby."

"When will mine come?" Aaron repeated, shoving his blank arm in her face. "How big will I be before I wake up and see what pictures I got?" He smiled

Toby couldn't help but smile and pull the little boy to his lap. "Has anyone told you today how funny you are, mister?" He teased as he bounced him on his knee.

Spencer couldn't help but smile really widely, because her son was adorable. Most of the adults in his life were tattooed, and so he thought that the ink would just appear one day when you got big, not that you actually went through a process of getting inked.

"They don't just show up, you have to go and get them. They use a special pen to draw on you and it goes buzz buzz buzz," she tickled him coinciding with her onomatopoeic description of the tattoo gun, careful not to use the g-word. "And the picture stays there forever and ever. But you _can_ get them when you're a big boy and graduate high school when you're 18."

"COOL," His eyes widened. "I'm gonna get SIX ROCKET SHIPS AND UFOs AND AN ALIEN and a 'S'"

"Why an 'S'," she laughed at his artwork ideas.

"Because I know your name starts with S. Spencer… Sssssss-ssss-sssspencer" he sounded out.

"But you call my Mommy," she reminded him. "Ma-ma-ma-Mommy. With an 'M.'" Her heart fluttered when he said that, she basked in the way he idolized her as his Mommy. Sure, she was the only parent he knew, but it still felt good to feel she was doing something right. He was so adoring of her, always affectionate and silly together and she couldn't ask for anything different.

"Not when I'm big big big like Toby and Caleb" he raised his arms to show how big they were.

"Even when you're as big as a giant," she reminded him and kissed his head. "You'll always be my baby boy," she smothered him with kisses as Toby held him and he kicked around.

Spencer pulled away and grabbed her purse as her phone buzzed. "Alright, time to go," she stood and opened the door just as John was about the knock.

"Perfect timing," she smiled.

"Are you ready?" He stepped inside and gave some intense side-eye to Toby.

"Yeah," she looked down at herself and spun around. "What do you think?" She was feeling particularly attractive tonight. It wasn't often she got to dress up.

"Are you _sure _that's appropriate…with that _thing _showing on your back…and so much skin? I just think some things are better off if they're saved just for, you know, _us," _he seemed to whisper, almost more upset that Toby had been here to see her in this before he'd come over rather than the fact she was going to wear this to a formal dinner with his colleagues.

"Dude, show her off," Toby butted in. "Are you really complaining that your girlfriend looks _too sexy? _Because I mean, I'd be happy to take the problem off your hands for you," Toby slyly smirked, earning a raised eyebrow and reddened cheeks from Spencer.

"Enough, if we don't leave now we're going to be late," Spencer grabbed her cardigan off the back of a kitchen chair and draped it over her arm with purse.

"Hanna's going to stop by to pick up some desserts I left in the fridge in the bakery boxes," she warned. "But you two can eat the extra cannolis in the purple tupperware on the bottom shelf," she smiled as she ran out the door with John.

* * *

Hanna knocked on the door, gasping a little bit as Toby opened the door.

"Uhm, I'm looking for Spencer…" She said hastily, confused by the fact that this guy had opened her door.

"The cannolis, right?" He went to the fridge and took out the neatly tied bakery box.

"Where's Spencer? What are _you_ doing here?" She said kind of nastily.

"She's at John's work dinner…I'm watching Aaron."

"She should have asked Caleb and I" she grabbed the box from him.

"Well I think she wants him and I to start spending more time together, so we have been, and we're _all_ really enjoying it." He defended.

Hanna readjusted. "I really don't like you," she stayed fixed on his eyes, trying to intimidate him.

"I gathered," he leaned on the counter. "But I don't really think that's fair. You hav—"

"And neither is what you did to her." She interrupted. "And him." She nodded towards the toddler asleep on the couch with his dog. "It's not fair you get a fresh start. No one else does." She let herself out, leaving him feeling like a helpless teenager again.

* * *

_"__DON'T call this number again." Hanna hissed into the phone._

_"__Spencer?" Toby tried to make out the voice he didn't quite recognize._

_"__No, go fuck yourself, leave her alone, you've done enough damage. The least you can do is leave it alone now before you make it worse." Hanna growled into the phone._

_"__I just—"_

_"__Fuck off, Toby." _

_Toby sucked in a breath as the phone clicked off. Everyone seemed to agree on one thing: all he could do at this point was fuck everything up more for Spencer, and potentially his unborn child, if that child was even still a thing. He had so many questions. But he was too scared to do any deeper digging._

_Spencer waddled back from the bathroom and plopped back down onto the couch, holding her protruding baby bump as she sat. She was nearly 8 months along and felt bigger than a beached whale._

_"__I think I have to pee again," Spencer frowned, just having sat back down. "This baby thinks my bladder is a squeeze toy," She pouted through a chuckle._

_Hanna tried to look sympathetic, but was still shaken up from the phone call she'd taken on her best friend's phone, and since deleted her call history guiltily. She knew it was for the best. It's not like he was trying to help her out. And besides, she and Caleb and her mom and Ted had that covered — they would help her much more than he ever could, without half the heartbreak. Right? She knew Spencer would never admit it, but she saw the heartbreak in Spencer despite her apparent excitement over this child. She may not have ever dated Toby Cavanaugh, but it was clear that without him holding her hand through this the way she'd seemed to have imagined at some brief moment in time had shattered her heart and continued to do so every time she faced the prospect of holding this baby alone. She had loved him in some sort of way, even if she didn't really know it._

_"__Han…you okay?" Spencer shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable._

_"__Uh, yeah, I'm fine," she swallowed. "Do you want me to make you some tea? I think i'm going to make tea." She jumped up._

_"__I'll definitely pee again, then," she frowned. "But if you're on your way to the kitchen and want to bring me back some of those M&amp;Ms on the counter…" she smiled. _

_Hanna nodded and made her way to the kitchen, leaning against the countertop and closing her eyes tight as a few tears streamed down. If she was doing the right thing, why did she feel so awful?_

_When she came back, she balanced a small owl of candy on Spencer's armrest and leaned down to kiss her head and then crouched down and put her hands on Spencer's growing belly. _

_"__You better be good to your Mom…she's an amazing person," she cooed, feeling Spencer's stomach rumble with the furious kicking of the baby inside._

_Spencer arched her back and held onto her stomach, laughing. "Oh my goodness, baby loves your voice, Han. Every time you do that the baby goes nuts," she smiled gently and looked up at her best friend._

_"__Hey… you're amazing for what you're doing for us; we both love you," she felt like something was up with Hanna the way she was mushing towards her baby bump and acting kind of weird. She hoped this didn't have to do with her constantly being in her way due to the fact she'd moved in, but she wanted her to know just how grateful she was to have this support system. Even if all she did when she was alone was silently try to get her phone to ring and have it be Toby to tell her she wouldn't be alone anymore. Hanna did more than enough to try and prove to Spencer that she didn't need Toby to not be alone. And Spencer had to accept that that made her lucky enough._

* * *

Spencer gingerly unlocked the door, trying to be as quiet as possible, knowing it was late and entirely possible that the boys were both asleep.

When she opened the door, the TV was on and Toby and Aaron were both wide awake, Aaron driving his toy cars up and down Toby's legs.

"What are you doing up, it's past your bedtime!" She said as Aaron rain over to her, nearly knocking her over as John stood behind her at the counter awkwardly.

"I was sleeping but then I had a bad dream and I said 'Please Toby, please let me wait for Momma because she is the BEST monster scarer'" He simulated a begging voice and pleading hands, a hint of a smirk behind his words.

"Okay, go inside and Mommy will be right there to do the scaring," she put him down and tapped his butt as he ran off to encourage him to move it.

She laughed and kissed John's cheek. "There's towels in the bathroom already if you still wanted to shower," She reminded John. "I'll be in bed by the time you're done," she smiled.

"Yeah, alright," he nodded and disappeared into the bathroom.

"How was it?" Toby said, standing as he placed a few toys into the toy bin off the floor and couch.

"Pretty boring, actually, but the food was really good," Spencer said stepping out of her heels and melting onto the couch to rub her aching arches.

"Was Mr. Ass any better the rest of the night or…?"

"Hey, don't do that," she raised an eyebrow. "Don't be grumpy."

"I just don't see how he could cause so much trouble and be so shitty to you in the beginning of the evening and you still brought him home with you afterwards…"

"Hey!" She raised her voice at him, standing. "You _definitely _don't get to do that…you don't have any right." she swallowed hard, feeling like she might even agree with him but even so, _who did he think he was? _

"All I'm saying is you could do better," He was aggravated.

"I think what you're saying is that you'd rather if I was _doing you." _She was growing more agitated than he was.

"I didn't—" He started to put up a fight. That made him angrier - mostly because _she wasn't wrong._

"It's late, you should probably go," Spencer walked over to the door and opened it to let him out.

Toby grouchily grabbed his things and headed out the door. Spencer started to soften as she turned back to see Aaron standing in the doorway of his room hesitantly, waiting for her to come tuck him in away from the goblins living in his closet.

"Hey, thanks again for tonight," She said as apologetically as she could muster through her annoyance at his perceived judgement.

"Yeah, yeah," he said as he got onto the elevator.


	11. Update coming soon! Please read

Hi all,

First of all - I want to thank ALL of you for reading my story and giving me motivation to continue what I love to do.

Next, I want to apologize for the unintentional hiatus. I hope you will all forgive me, and that at least some of you will still be up for reading what's next for Toby and Spencer.

Unfortunately the last year has been a whirlwind for me, but I am ready to get back to these two - I never lost sight of this story or these characters that are near and dear to my heart, as of all of you who have also been in my thoughts.

If you are still interested - you should start re-reading (I truthfully just finished re-reading) because an update should be up in the next week and a half or so. Please don't hesitate to contact me with any questions or to harass me to post.

Hope to hear from you all and excited to share the next part of this story with you all. Xx.

\- A


End file.
